Is it wrong that i don't want to take care of my family?

3 Comments

Let me start by saying I love my family. Ever since forever we've been poor, my mom lives in an income based apartment. So I can't live there because the rent would be around 700 dollars because of my job. And I don't want to. So I've gotten my own place, and have been okay for a while. But every time I talk to my mom she's asking me to help her move into a house (By me paying for all of it) which I probably couldn't even afford. And she says that she's not going to be around forever and she don't know how much longer she can take living like this. And a long time ago she kinda tricked me into going to the court house, "to be there for her" however when I was there the judge basically backed me into a corner and I had to say that I'd take full care and responsibility of my sister(she's handicapped) if something happens to my mom. I couldn't really say no, even though I wanted to. I also love my sister, but after watching my mom struggle to raise her all these years makes me not want to. I want her to be okay and taken care of, but I really don't want the responsibility of it. So I guess my question is, is it wrong that I don't want to fully buy her a house and take care of my sister if something happens?

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Comments ( 3 )
  • kelili
    5 years ago

    I do understand you. You're not insensitive in my opinion. You're just aware that you are not ready to take that responsibility. It must be terrible to be in that situation. For the house you cannot afford it so you shouldn't even feel guilty about it. For your sister it's different. If I were in the same situation I think that I would think like you. Taking care of someone is a huge responsibility. I remember when I had to take care of my blind grandmother for one week it was really difficult - change diapers, take baths. One day she shitted in her diapers and the smell was so terrible that I began to sob because I had to change it. And my aunt was helping. I cannot imagine taking care of an adult on a daily basis.

    If you can maybe help them financially.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    I understand why you wouldn’t want to it is a huge responsibility and I’m sure your family life effects your opinion as well and the relationship with them. So I’m not one to tell you what to do just that I get why you feel that way. I’m close with my mom I’d help her if she ever needed it, my father I’d probably want nothing to do with he’s a shitty person. Not everyones willing to make a huge commitment like that. I mean it is a lot of responsibilities. She shouldn’t be pushing you into a courner to do anything it’s all your choice. I took care of my grandmother every chance I got and did anything she needed but I wouldn’t do that for just anybody especially it depends on the situation. I also didn’t buy her a whole entire house.

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  • BlindSpot
    5 years ago

    Often time we are not ready for the responsibility life throws at us. We say we love, and life tests that love... As a young person, just finding your footing in the world, it's really tough. We aren't sure of our own capabilities and we are always used to thinking of our ownselves. I think it's one of the most honourable acts to give your everything to your family and it brings the most satisfaction when done, but it's also pretty difficult to do. I get you... I'm currently in a situation where I'm required to get stuff done for my family but I feel it's coming at a wrong time for me. I have my own stuff to do but I know time is running out and I have to step up to the plate sooner or later.

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