Is it weird that i don’t know how to give emotional support?

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8 Comments

Is it something you learn or automatically know?

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 6 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • edreams
    6 years ago

    Did you have something Traumatic happen to you at an early age? That can cause you to be more of an introvert.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I don’t think it was anything too traumatic, I did suffer through years of bullying and some child abuse.

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      • Boojum
        6 years ago

        "Some child abuse" can mean a lot of things. _Any_ child abuse suggests a family environment when you were growing up that wasn't healthy.

        Children have to learn empathy. Infants are entirely self-centered and totally selfish. That's our natural state, and we have to learn how to put ourselves in other people's shoes as we grow up. If you never had this behavior modeled for you when you were a young child, it's not surprising if you find it difficult now.

        I thought this article - although quite long - was interesting, and there might be things mentioned in it which you can relate to:

        http://sfhelp.org/relate/empathy.htm

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  • Boojum
    6 years ago

    Are you able to feel empathy? Can you listen to someone talking about feeling shitty for some reason, and imagine how you'd feel in their position?

    Sometimes it's difficult to feel sympathy when you know the person is over-dramatizing or really upset about something you feel is trivial, but if you can at least accept they are genuinely upset, and actually pay attention to their venting, that's being emotionally supportive.

    Being emotionally supportive doesn't mean having good suggestions for how to solve the problem. Usually, it's simply caring enough about the person you're with to really hear what they're saying.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      When I try to imagine myself in someone else’s misery, its like everything is blurry and devoid of emotions and I can’t properly place myself. I don’t understand why it’s hard, it just feels like I disconnected or I misaligned with that person. Sometimes, it feels that way about myself.

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    Maybe you grew up in a family that didn't provide a lot of emotional support? We tend to mirror what our parents do or don't do for that matter. Maybe you just never learned to be supportive, because that behavior was never modeled to you?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      The problem with that is, isi can’t remember what growing up was like. I remember they didn’t show much affection in front of me and my dad was always angry at the something or not at my house.

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      • RoseIsabella
        6 years ago

        That makes sense to me.

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