Is it unfilial if i were to do this?

Quick explanation, I'm training to become something what my dad wants. If everything goes according to my dad's plan I'll possibly be free to do my own thing when I'm 34 (possibly able to do the things I wanted to do on the side, but I'll be burdened with responsibilities).

If I fail to become the thing my dad want's me to become, I'm expecting him to make me train again for another year to try again. (And I definitely do not want to do it for another year again). the place where I train is like a boot camp, I can't do the shit wanted to do. not to mention if I get accepted I'll have a 4 year training that's much harder and more strict than my training right now.

Now the problem, I want to say to my dad that if I fail this time, I'm not doing this again. I said I will do my best but If I fail that's it.

There's another thing that my dad wants me to do, but it's got way more freedom.(This'll be my main argument I'm gonna use to evade another year of training).

You need to know, that these things that my dad wants me to do is for my own good in my dad's eyes. But I have things i want to become.

My thoughts are, if I get accepted, I'll sacrifice my time for my dad, because that's what he did for me since I was little.

I'll be honest, I don't have a single confidence that I'm gonna get accepted. thousands of other people are aiming for this thing as I am. so that's that.

My dad has sacrificed himself to raise me since I was a kid, But damn! I don't want to waste 14 years of my life doing something I don't want to, for all I know in that 14 years I'll be at a successful point of my carrier doing the thing I wanted.

so the sacrifices:
1. get accepted, 14 years of my life
2. About 5 years. ( I'll take this rather than the other one ).

Is it unfilial for me to not sacrifice myself for my dad, when he sacrificed himself for me?

Tl;Dr

Refusing to sacrifice my time for my dad when he sacrificed his time and effort for me.

Keep in mind my dad has all the best wishes for me, he just doesn't understand the thing I wanted to do.

Sorry if all this doesn't make any sense.

nay 5
yea 1
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Comments ( 8 )
  • sweetone89

    Do not do what you don't want to. Just because he raised you, doesn't make you a "prisoner" for life and have o do everything he says.

    Do what you want and you will be happier.

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    • I'm not his "prisoner", I have an obligation to fulfill for he, had raised me with love and care, he went through countless hardships just to put food in my mouth, and a roof over my head. I still remember him buying me ice cream even though he didn't have any money, I remember him searching through his entire body for pennies to pay.

      this is the dilemma I'm in. thinking back, 14 years doesn't sound so bad. And it's not like it's torture, I just won't be able to do the things I want to do for some time.

      I should make him proud before he's gone.

      Somehow you opened my eyes, thanks.

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

    med school eh?

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  • JellyBeanBandit

    This may sound ungrateful, but none of us owe anything to our parents for raising us, it was their job to raise us. We never asked to be born, they decided to have us because they wanted kids. And because they made that decision, it was then their responsibility to raise us. Raising us doesn't mean that they're amazing people, it just means that they're not terrible people. Of course, that's not to say that they aren't amazing people anyway, but yeah. We still should never feel compelled to live our lives for them. In fact, they should want us to follow whatever path would make us happy, and for us to carve our own path, even if it's one they wouldn't have chosen.

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    • I agree, but it feels wrong for me to not feel like I owe nothing to him.

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  • 1WeirdGuy

    Sounds like youre talking about med school. I say do it. You'll make ridiculous money if you live or move to USA as a doctor. You're talking 300k a year easilym

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    • nah, it's not med school, you could say it's connected to military stuff, 4 year training, 10 year commitment contract

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      • 1WeirdGuy

        If it pays really well and you can stand doing it its probably worth it. It just depends how much it pays

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