Is it too late to become straight

14 Comments

I became celibate by non-religious choice at around the age of 14 and I guess that probably f'd up my whole sex drive as it probably develops in high school and and I prevented that. Now I am almost 28 and never had a crush or found anyone sexually attractive in real life, never watch porn, never masturbate, and I feel fine being alone, still a virgin, never even kissed or dated anyone.

back in my teens i occasionally found people of the same sex attractive. i would even draw sexual (yet clothed) pics and animations of the same sex, before i knew that was gay,i just knew it felt good. then i realized that was gay and stopped it because i didnt want to be gay. and now it's very rare that i get attracted to the same sex anymore.

if i had to choose which sex i want to be with for life i would rather be with the opposite sex. but it is a mental struggle to find them sexual attractive. i try to visualize having sex with them and i feel like i would never be able to enjoy it.

so which am i?

other 2
asexual 16
bi 4
gay 10
repressed straight 6
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Comments ( 14 )
  • Boogienights
    4 years ago

    When I was young (teens) I definitely felt attracted to boys but I had girlfriends and I had sex with them and it was pretty good. I cant really say I looked at women in a sexual way though except for very slutty ones depicted in porn. I also only slept with the ones who were quite dominant sexually. Even though I was outwardly heterosexual, other straight men didnt like me because I didnt fit the stereotypical gender norm and so I was an outsider.

    Eventually when I was 18 I started having sex with men. I never felt "gay" though. I always hated the label and didnt fit in with the gay crowd. I still dont. I find gay men generally to be very catty, hyper sexual, and shallow. Many are either hyper femme or hyper macho also. Promiscuity is normalised and encouraged in the gay community. Each to their own but I didnt want any part of it and still dont.

    There are times now when I wonder how my life might have been different if I had met a woman and had kids. Id maybe be happier and less lonely. Long story short its all just labels and labels help us understand each other at best and judge and attack each other at worst. I dont see myself as straight or gay. Im just me.

    My advise to you is to follow your heart. Do what makes you happy. Forget what other people think. If you are attracted to men but still want to be with a woman then you need to find a woman who will understand and accept that. Heterosexual men still feel attracted to other women when they are in a relationship. So I really see no difference if youre in one and still attracted to men. The most important thing is commitment and total honesty. Dont deceive your partner and dont deceive yourself. It would be really unhealthy to be in a heterosexual relationship just for convenience because youre worried about what others think and how hard it will be to live life as a homosexual. Absolutely do not make that mistake.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      Wow, yeah I feel pretty much the same. Homophobia sucks but the gay community is almost worst, and with the way they try to force people to accept them it's no wonder that some people still don't. it's embarrassing.

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      • Boogienights
        4 years ago

        I actually think the worst thing that has happened to the gay movement is the way they have tried to gain acceptance through integration. Instead of staying true to who they are and creating their own healthy role models and lifestyles many have actually just conformed to heterosexual norms such as marriage. They have sacrificed their truth to fit in and win rights.

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  • Boojum
    4 years ago

    You are who you are, dude.

    The only thing that matters is that you feel comfortable in your own skin and have a life that you find rewarding, whatever that may mean to you.

    It sounds like you've always had a very low sex drive. Some people do, and if you can accept that, then that's cool. However, if you feel that you're missing out on an important part of life, or you feel confused or upset by your lack of interest in sex, then maybe it would be useful for you to talk to a professional counsellor about this.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      I have been to a counsellor, and they said that it was normal. Which kind of sucks, because I do feel like I am missing out on something, and would have liked some help on figuring it out.

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      • McBean
        4 years ago

        Honestly, there's not much to figure out. Your sex drive is so low that it takes very little to repress it. You are naturally gay, but gay culture is everything you don't want. Make a few plutonic friendships with the girls, and keep your pants on. You're in a much better position than you think you are.

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  • Ichabuskene
    4 years ago

    It's completely normal to admire an attractive male physique; a beautiful man is still beautiful. Your teenage years is the worst time to decide "this is who I am." Sex is more than simple physical attraction too. Find someone you can't be without and see where it goes from there.

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  • Goldendoodlegirl
    4 years ago

    I think you that it's great that you are comfortable in your skin, but if you were my kid, I would advise you going to the doctor to have your hormone levels checked out just to rule out anything being imbalanced that would cause you not to have a sex drive. Good luck and I hope you find where you fall on the sexuality spectrum. Be true to yourself <3

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  • EnglishLad
    4 years ago

    You're gay but you're in denial and uncomfortable with it. Be you. If sexual identity politics is so shit where you live, move somewhere where it isn't.

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    • Boogienights
      4 years ago

      I dont agree. Sexuality is on a spectrum. Many people are somewhere in between but most are more towards one end or the other. Just because you have some attraction to same gender does not make you forever gay. In some cultures it is perfectly normal to have homosexual relations before marriage. Its not discussed openly but its common knowledge that it happens. I wish we would stop trying to box people. Im not the same person I was 30 years ago and in another 30 years Ill be completely different again. People grow and evolve. We are not our behaviour. We are not static beings. We are more dynamic processes.

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  • Jimbo24
    4 years ago

    I voted "asexual", but what you actually are is "gray asexual".

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  • Tealights
    4 years ago

    What's wrong with being gay?

    (I'm straight and not challenging you, I'm genuinely asking to understand you better.)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      Idk, I don't really want to put up with the judgment I'd get for it. It would be something I would have to keep private but I would rather have a normal relationship and I think I am straight but it just got repressed somehow and i will regret it later

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  • Doesnormalmatter
    4 years ago

    Non religious celebate? That is very sad and depressing. I bet you regret that choice, or you will once you have sex. And you are gay as well, don't try to make yourself straight. That won't work. You like who you like.

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