Is it right/wrong to be mad at parents for losing a business?

10 Comments

My parents had a family business. Growing up, we all worked so hard and put so much into it. My parents lost the business due mostly to very poor financial and business decisions. Alcoholism was also a factor. We had so much and worked so hard only to see nothing from it.

I appreciate the work ethic I gained from it, and the experiences, but I also feel robbed.

This business is almost exclusively a family business traditionally, handed down from parents to kids. My dad's parents handed it to him. It's extremely hard, if not impossible, to just break into this business-which is why it's SOOOO hard for me to just "get over it".

I keep thinking how much I'd like to be running the business right about now! Or how much different my life could be right now if we still had it.

Is it wrong to feel angry about this?

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  • Sherpa
    12 years ago | pl

    When emotions come up, it's better to feel them and learn from them. Your parents were irresponsible and wasteful. Don't feel guilty if that frustrates and angers you. You have a special opportunity, because you can learn from earlier generations, in contrast to your parents. You now know what it takes to build and lose a business. It makes you wiser, if you want to have your own business or rebuild theirs.

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  • dappled
    12 years ago | pl

    Forget about the legacy you believe has been robbed from you, work to make a legacy for your future kids and make sure they don't feel like you do.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago | pl

      Thanks for your comment. Perhaps I am thinking too much about things I cannot change, when I should be thinking about how to use the experience for good. Well, I have used it for good, but probably not to the full potential. It's hard, because it's like there's a dark cloud looming whenever anything related to this subject comes up.

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      • MissClaire
        12 years ago | pl

        It does suck, It would take time for me to get over this as well. For me the frustrating part would be having absolutely no control over it. You thinking that your helping your parents build a better life for your family and then feeling.... well I would feel a bit betrayed. Based on how mature you are handling this so far, you will do awesome in whatever venture you take.

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    • MissClaire
      12 years ago | pl

      good advice!

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  • Dazzle
    11 years ago | pl

    Anger justified and understood, but why won't you start your own business yourself? You gained work experience and ethic from it, now your turn to run a business!
    (I'm guessing that's what all those comments above were saying since it's common sense, but I'm just too lazy to read'em)
    Good luck!

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  • Narutofan
    12 years ago | pl

    The alcoholism factor would be the most provoking issue for me. I have this "Just go into rehab and get over it" attitude.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    Your anger is understandable and justified, BUT don't let it overwhelm you. Think about what you really want, and if you want to, you should try to start a business of your own from the ground up. It could be worth a try.

    But if you really don't want to give that a go, I guess take your time, and learn to accept what happened to the family business.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago | pl

      Thanks for your comment!

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago | pl

        No problem, just trying to help.

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