Explore your uniqueness and individuality through your appearance and self presentation. I believe much anxiety about being unattractive is connected to feeling boring, unspecial and unworthy of attention. Doing something different and individual can tackle that feeling, and it's way more fun than conforming (trying to look attractive according to standards you didn't make up can feel like forcing a square peg into a found hole - which I think is how you feel now). You can reclaim standards by non-conforming and getting creative. A lot of people don't know how to start because they've never even thought about fucking around with their looks.
You don't have to change everything all at once. Ease into it. Even making one conscious change towards non-conformity, even if it's too small for anyone else to notice, can change the way you judge your own body. By consciously doing it for yourself, you stop judging yourself so critically.
These are all just my solutions. The most important part of the whole philosophy is doing it yourself.
On hair, you could go for an unnatural colour or bizarre style. At the moment I do both - my hair is blue and bleached blonde, and shaved into a floppy Mohawk. Hair is very conspicuous, so changing it is synonymous with making a bold statement which you might or might not want to do. If what you want is positive attention then good news: you'll probably get it. Every time I do something new with my hair I get attention for it and the vast majority of it is positive.
With clothes it's harder to break away from the norm. You could look at subcultures; most of my style is influenced by punk but only because that is what's authentic to me. You also have to be careful not to fall into another mode of conformism. You could try breaking gender norms. It doesn't have to be obvious cross-dressing; I take my skinny jeans from the women's section, and no-one notices. Some guys wear subtle make-up, other guys get tattoos and piercings.
The main point is: invent as much as possible for yourself. I know it seems counterintuitive, but avoid seeking advice or influence from friends or the internet or magazines or TV or whatever. The more advice and opinions you seek, the more likely you are to regress to the mean and filter your own individual ideas. You don't want to follow someone else's map. The only advice I'm giving you is "I do x, and I like it because y".
When it comes to working out, only do what you genuinely enjoy doing for yourself. A lot of people will say they work out for themselves, but I don't believe most of them truly do. They work out because they want to look good, and as a society we tell them that working out means looking better. We don't do anything for ourselves unless it's consciously against the grain. Food also; I eat basically whatever food I want and it feels good.
Is it really possible to improve his appareance ? (male)
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Explore your uniqueness and individuality through your appearance and self presentation. I believe much anxiety about being unattractive is connected to feeling boring, unspecial and unworthy of attention. Doing something different and individual can tackle that feeling, and it's way more fun than conforming (trying to look attractive according to standards you didn't make up can feel like forcing a square peg into a found hole - which I think is how you feel now). You can reclaim standards by non-conforming and getting creative. A lot of people don't know how to start because they've never even thought about fucking around with their looks.
You don't have to change everything all at once. Ease into it. Even making one conscious change towards non-conformity, even if it's too small for anyone else to notice, can change the way you judge your own body. By consciously doing it for yourself, you stop judging yourself so critically.
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chained_rage
8 years ago
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Zangyr
8 years ago
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I read "explore your uniqueness and individuality through your appearance and self penetration."
(-_-")
Have you some ideas ?
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dom180
8 years ago
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These are all just my solutions. The most important part of the whole philosophy is doing it yourself.
On hair, you could go for an unnatural colour or bizarre style. At the moment I do both - my hair is blue and bleached blonde, and shaved into a floppy Mohawk. Hair is very conspicuous, so changing it is synonymous with making a bold statement which you might or might not want to do. If what you want is positive attention then good news: you'll probably get it. Every time I do something new with my hair I get attention for it and the vast majority of it is positive.
With clothes it's harder to break away from the norm. You could look at subcultures; most of my style is influenced by punk but only because that is what's authentic to me. You also have to be careful not to fall into another mode of conformism. You could try breaking gender norms. It doesn't have to be obvious cross-dressing; I take my skinny jeans from the women's section, and no-one notices. Some guys wear subtle make-up, other guys get tattoos and piercings.
The main point is: invent as much as possible for yourself. I know it seems counterintuitive, but avoid seeking advice or influence from friends or the internet or magazines or TV or whatever. The more advice and opinions you seek, the more likely you are to regress to the mean and filter your own individual ideas. You don't want to follow someone else's map. The only advice I'm giving you is "I do x, and I like it because y".
When it comes to working out, only do what you genuinely enjoy doing for yourself. A lot of people will say they work out for themselves, but I don't believe most of them truly do. They work out because they want to look good, and as a society we tell them that working out means looking better. We don't do anything for ourselves unless it's consciously against the grain. Food also; I eat basically whatever food I want and it feels good.