Is it possible to mentally abuse yourself?
This might not sound like it makes much sense but let me explain. I'm 18 years old, and I had a conversation with my mom where I said I felt like I did have a childhood but it was short lived, and when I think of it I don't think positively. She told me it was sad because I wasn't abused, and I said it was like I mentally abused myself. What I meant by that is my own thoughts discouraged me. Around the time I turned 10 I felt like I was older and hated being called a little kid (seriously it was like a racial slur to me!) and I would've never dared told anyone I still slept with stuffed animals, or played games with my imigination, or even occasionally played with toys because I felt way too old to still be doing those things! I also felt weird about recess at school. Don't get me wrong, I loved it, but it just didn't feel right because I felt too old for it. I feel like my thinking to myself that I was too old for these things made me fixated on adulthood so much that it distracted me from enjoying my childhood while it lasted. It makes me wish I could just be like 8 years old forever. I don't know if this really makes any sense but I really needed to let that all out somewhere.
No | 0 | |
Yes | 15 |