Is it possible to mentally abuse yourself?

This might not sound like it makes much sense but let me explain. I'm 18 years old, and I had a conversation with my mom where I said I felt like I did have a childhood but it was short lived, and when I think of it I don't think positively. She told me it was sad because I wasn't abused, and I said it was like I mentally abused myself. What I meant by that is my own thoughts discouraged me. Around the time I turned 10 I felt like I was older and hated being called a little kid (seriously it was like a racial slur to me!) and I would've never dared told anyone I still slept with stuffed animals, or played games with my imigination, or even occasionally played with toys because I felt way too old to still be doing those things! I also felt weird about recess at school. Don't get me wrong, I loved it, but it just didn't feel right because I felt too old for it. I feel like my thinking to myself that I was too old for these things made me fixated on adulthood so much that it distracted me from enjoying my childhood while it lasted. It makes me wish I could just be like 8 years old forever. I don't know if this really makes any sense but I really needed to let that all out somewhere.

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Comments ( 10 )
  • Ellenna

    Normal and very commmon, but pointless. If you feel you're still mentally abusing yourself see a therapist.

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  • Tealights

    It really sounds like an attachment disorder of some kind. Not many people know how important parenting is, and how the relationship with our parents contributes to our future. However, it's tricky due to every child we give birth to being their own person with their own needs; even as an infant, our emotional needs can vary and parents have to pick up on that.

    I'm not saying your parents are bad people, but they may have been too aloof from what it sounds like. As in, they probably work a lot, too busy, or not as interested in what you do unless it was serious; otherwise, you were simply left to your own devices until dinnertime, breakfast, etc. This can cause the child to think various things depending on what their emotional needs are and how they're being met.

    Anyway, I could be horribly wrong. My advice, go see a therapist.

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  • redrainbow22

    Doesnt matter how old you are, everyone can have imagination :)

    And you can still sleep with stuffed animals :)

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  • LA_keisy

    are you an olny child? is your mom single o divorced? something like this happend to me. it´s called pseudomaturity.

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    • I'm the youngest of three, my mom is a widow and has been her whole life.

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  • Ktrash

    Constantly thinking negative thoughts is what I would consider mental abuse to yourself. I always do that...

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  • I got to your notification quickly!

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  • redrainbow22

    Sounds like you were just insecure about what people would think about you.

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  • Ratmanforelife

    Yeah, okay. Now what?

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    • LA_keisy

      see psychiatrist

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