Is it possible to love more than one person at once?
True, pure love, whatever you think that is.
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From the comments here, it is obvious to me that people think of "love" in different ways. Because nobody agrees on what being "in love" means, whether you can have it for two different people or not is a difficult issue.
You can definately have a crush and be in love with another person at the same time. I think that you can be in love with two people at once as well, but not equally. If you love two people, one of them is always the one that you really love, and the other is a dirty secret that you can't let go of. Often, it is hard to tell which is which without hindsight.
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I'm going to pose the opposite question. How come is it that we're usually in love with just one person? I can love two different cakes, or have a half and half pizza. Sometimes the confluence of two things makes them better (apple pie and custard, strawberries and cream, JD and coke). But I can't imagine being in love with two people. It's not just because they're sentient and may compete. It's a personal thing.
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To "love" a certain kind of food is definitely a different kind of love than to love a spouse/significant other. If you happen to be multi-lingual (which I think i vaguely remember something about you speaking other languages but I could be wrong)) then you know that to say you LOVE someone is totally different concept and doesn't even compare. Do you think you could be IN LOVE with more than one woman at once, and have it be pure and untainted?
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While I was writing it, I was considering a situation I was once in where I cheated in a relationship. I copped out of mentioning it and went for cake/pizza instead. It's amazing how often people notice when I think about one thing but write about another.
But, to write about the thing I was actually thinking about, I was in a long-term thing with a girl (S) but carrying on a strangely public affair with a girl (K). I'm glad I never had to answer the question about which I loved more because it would have caused even more hurt. Psychologically, I could never bring myself to be in love with K. I was very attracted to her and we were extremely compatible sexually but I didn't love her and never could (although I said I did). I loved S despite not getting to see her often and the fire going out of the relationship. It's easy to confuse love with sex, attraction, friendship, etc.
From my point of view, I can't be in love with two people at the same time. I don't understand exactly why, but them's the apples!
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Personally I don't understand how it could be possible, but there are polyamorous people, and to them that is the norm. Personally I think that it is possible to have filial love with many people, but I can't imagine having real romantic love with more than one person. I think people who feel like they can romantically love multiple people probably have never loved completely. When you love someone completely, they are the only one you care about in that way.
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I'm going to be the lone voice of dissent here and say YES, it is entirely possible to love more than one person at the same time. It's called polyamory. There are people who have open relationships, people who have multiple partners, and there are people who advocate free love, which is no real committment but just be with all the people you love whenever.
It's possible to love so many different things in a person, one individual isn't going to have all of those. And again, we are so unique as individuals that we will almost surely encounter many people whom we could love.
But it's not for everyone, which is why monagomy has always been the norm at least in modern society. Whether this has more to do with nature or socialization I cannot say, but I will say biologically we are more similar to animals that do not mate for life.
And that personally, I can and have loved more than one person at once. At this time in my life there's only one, and many friends whom I love in a different way.
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To answer that question you have to know what true love is and to me true love isn't founded in infatuation. It's shallow and easily broken.
True love is something that develops over years and years of being together and appreciating each other's idiosyncrasies. It's founded in knowing that specific person and since specifics developed it, I don't think you can have it again for another person until you've detached from that one.
It's like saying your roots can be in the ground and in the air at the same time. They'll either be in A or B. But not both.
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