Is it ok if my friend fingered me while I was drunk?

I went to a frat party with my friends and got super drunk that I don't remember much of the night. I was later told that I danced with one of my guy friends and he told some of his friends that he had fingered me while dancing. We always jokingly flirt with each other but is it wrong that he fingered me when it was obvious I was super drunk?

Is It Normal?
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 28 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • What the fuck kind of "friend" does that then tells his friends that he fingered you while dancing?

    My advice:
    Drink less and find new friends.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • did he at least lick your ass out?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • That's called rape kiddo

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • You can't consent while under the influence; he simply just took advantage of you, because as drunk as you were, it was probably extremely noticeable.


    Sadly, a lot of guys are like that, and hide under the cover of alcohol to "loosen" a girl up. Or an excuse to do whatever, as in, "You came onto me!!!" "We were both drunk!" Or, "It's your fault for getting drunk at a party," and so on. Just be careful next time, especially around that guy, because he's an opportunist, and will wait until you're vulnerable to make his move.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    • -
    • If thats the case i get raped an aweful lot cause i am usually under the influence when having sex. Come on man. Only in extreme cases is intoxication brought up.

      This might be one of them but its hard to tell. There is no one who knows if she was even touched, except the guy himself from the sounds of it.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      • -
      • He admitted to his own actions, why should the amount of witnesses to the event even matter? I could see the importance of witnesses if she was accusing him out of nowhere and he's denying it all, but the girl was too drunk to even remember most of the night; if he didn't brag about it, no one would have even known except him.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        • -
        • Well unfortunately you have to have actually comitted the crime. Your admission has to be proven factual in order to be convicted. You can't legally confess to a crime you didn't commit and get sentenced. It doesn't work that way. At least in the U.S.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          • -
          • Lol, you making it seem like I'm telling her to go get the cops and haul his ass to jail. Nah, just telling her to be careful, because that easy going party girl lifestyle isn't for everyone, especially if she can't handle the consequences of being drunk around a bunch of guys.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            • -
            • Well i agree with that for sure. I just find the law fascinating when it comes to this stuff. It's really pretty messed up.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Drink less or this type of thing will happen again.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • I'm personally of the opinion that two people having consensual sexual contact, while both drunk, is not rape or sexual assault. As for him telling his friends, that's expected. It's a shame, since you thought of him as a friend, but not a shock. Lots of guys like to brag to people about what they've done recently, sexually or otherwise, if they see it as an accomplishment.

    You can always just confront him, if you feel like this isn't the type of 'friend' you want in your life, you can always leave him as well. You are perfectly justified to not want to have a friend that will go and spread rumors about you, whether true or not.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Drink less, you should not complain if you can't even remember.
    And what type of friends do you have to let that happen?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • That's jacked up u don't need friends like that luck they don't try fuck u better get drunk family instead them I'd cuss him out if it's real not lie steal jacked either way I like girls and guys still wouldn't finger rape sum one or rape

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • That is wrong because you did not give consent. However if you were to charge him it may be kinda hard

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Unwanted sexual contact is assault. If you were drunk and didn't give consent that is assault. I would report it. Just because you were drunk does not excuse his actions.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    • -
    • This brings up all kinds of legal weirdness. If a person can legally be deemed unfit to consent then basically the law would be saying they are incapable of controlling or being responsible for their own bodies correct? If thats the case then doesn't the same hold true for drunk people who commit crimes as well?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      • -
      • Sometimes you say stuff I've thought for years!

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        • -
        • Glad you understand what I mean. Many people don't understand legal pecendent or the can of worms certain rulings or descisions can open up.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          • -
          • Its the hypocrisy of "this girl was so drunk she didnt know what she was doing" she's a victim, "this guy was so drunk he didnt know what he was doing" he's a criminal. I've been pretty darn drunk, if a woman stuck a finger in my ass while dancing I would remember it, I probably would like it. However, I would take responsibility for putting myself in that position. I've fingered gals while dancing, its fun to do! Let's not ruin it by making it a possible crime just because of a guilty conscience afterwards. There's nothing to feel guilty about even.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
    • Should a guy be required to carry a breathalyzer. What is the legal BAC for no longer being able to consent?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
    • That's the thing... I don't know if I maybe consented or encouraged it. Everyone keeps telling me that he would be down to get with me but he would never make the first move.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      • -
      • How does it make you feel?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        • -
        • Idk how to feel. I partially blame myself for possibly encouraging it or potentially consenting but also bothered by the fact that this is someone I'd consider to be a friend who would do this.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          • -
          • Have you asked him about it. Did it ever occur to you that maybe he lied to impress his friends but nothing actually happened. Did anyone see it happen? Not saying he lied but guys do that shit all the time.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
  • That's called sexual assault!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
Add A Comment

More from category: Drugs & Alcohol