Is it odd that a friend who is a girl never wants me to meet her boyfriend?

I've been friends with this girl for about 3-4 years, early on I think she had a crush on me (I'm a guy), but it wasn't reciprocal at the time. Fast forward 3 years, she has a boyfriend she never talks about, and never brings with her to hang out or makes moves to meet me. There has been plenty of times I could've met him. I admittedly have a small crush on her now, and I sometimes think she's into me still. Anyway. I'm wondering why doesn't ever talk about or bring her boyfriend around.
I'm wondering if its cause her BF is the jealous type.
If she's keeping me a secret from him.
If this is normal and I'm being a weirdo.
If its not normal in general and something is up.
Or if she's just one of those people who like to separate friendship from other parts of their life?

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Comments ( 11 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • It could be that she doesn't want him to know about you.
    I don't think that's a good way to handle things though, in the end if the boyfriend finds out about you he'll be very suspicious and think something is going on between you two if she's kept you secret. But that's her problem. You can't do much about how she handles her relationship.

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    • I'm pretty sure he knows she has "guy friends", but if I was in his position I would be at least curious to meet them once or ask about it.
      He might not just give a hoot, who knows. They've been dating a little over a year now and live together soo.
      Either way, I feel like she's keeping me on the backburner "just in case". I've had one other woman do this to me before in my early twenties and it felt similar to the situation I'm in now.

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      • Oh well if she has other guy friends too and doesn't keep them secret then it's even weirder. If she just doesn't talk about them ever, well.. Early on in a relationship I could see that being somewhat normal but if they're living together they must have a pretty serious relationship and should know about each others friends by now. You could be right about her keeping you on the backburner.

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  • Shes keeping you a secret because she doesnt want him to be jealous and maybe she likes you

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  • It's probably a little bit of all of that. Simpler to keep things in her life separate, less complications just in case.

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    • I can relate to that, especially if you're life is already stressful and you work hard to keep everyone in your life happy.

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  • Yeah she likes you. Or at least I was in a similar situation semi recently and that was the reason. Normally the boyfriend would want to meet you vs have you be some shadowy figure that hangs with his girl

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  • Not really that odd, she's got somewhat of a feeling towards you.

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  • She has no boyfriend. She made him up to stop you from being that creepy ass guy friend who’s obsessed with his female friend.

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    • Funny.
      I've seen him before so that would be odd.
      Also, I'm only slightly obsessed, and if having feelings for somebody is creepy then I guess 99.999% of world population is "creepy"
      Besides that, I value her friendship, plus I know better than to act on it, but I'm moving in like 4 months, and don't want to live with regrets... I don't think that's creepy. Its called being human bub

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      • There’s plenty of people out there. Don’t waste your time waiting for a friend to reciprocate something that’s gone now because you were too slow to act on it when it was there.

        Secretly harbouring it for a bit, then getting over it is one thing. But posting about it on the net hoping to get a certain response, is getting to creeper stage buuub.

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