I was thinking teen as well...if she is in her teens my advice would be to stop.
I would sit down and have a heart to heart with your child. Tell them how you are feeling about their poor behavior. However tell them you would like to start over and loosen up a bit... but you expect respect. And then lay down some more reasonable rules... rules about grades in school and being back home by 10 or 11.
All your doing is hurting your relationship.
what is even with these rules you have now? Why does she have to quickly make a meal? Thats just silly.
isolating people from their friends will not help. Kids need to have friends for a support system and social skills.
keeping someone isolated from their family really makes things worse. People need their family members for support and love. When all else fails your family should always be there.
you monitoring phone calls os frowned upon... teens need space. The more you hover tge more she will want to hid things from you.
Trapping someone in their room for really long time is wrong...this could lead to depression. Your home is not a jail.
the car thing is fine if its your car... if its her car you cant do that.
I took 5 min showers in the military... you are not a drill sergeant. If you are trying to conserve water a 20min show is reasonable. Showers are a good time for relaxing and thinking.
Bathroom visits are not a privilege they are a basic human right.
Yeah, I made a comment going in to the subject. My personal belief here is that it's not her that's the problem, it's the parenting that's the problem and she's just responding to the bad parenting with bad or sad behaviors.
She's seventeen and basically a domestic prisoner in her own home...Her teen years are limited and she's at the age where a lot of experiences needed for adulthood come in and she's being banned from having those experiences.
I felt pretty sad seeing this post. I don't envy that girl's position.
Yeah, I think I'm stating the obvious when you should give your child a good amount of freedom at certain ages aswell as a good and healthy amount of rules. Too much freedom away from rules and too much rules restricting freedom will most likely end in disaster. Lol.
*nods*
My mom used to be strict when I was young... but as I got older she loosened the reins... I think thats the best way to parent.
im strict with my daughter now but I loosen up on things as she gets older.
Why on earth would anyone need 20 minutes in the shower to get clean? Just how dirty could you be? I would add to the sentence beginning "showers are" the ending: and wasting the world's resources unnecessarily.
The 5 minute showers are the only thing i agree with about this insane parent's rules.
For relaxing and unwinding your day. Thats why you need 20 min...
Thanks to the hydrologic cycle... we drink and bathe in the exact same water our ansesters did. I meen if you think about it more so a problem of distribution.
water that goes down your sinks, toilets, ect stays in your local system getting recycled, becoming available again the next time you shower.
However water sprayed on a lawn will evaporate and you cant be sure where it goes from there. Your community could have just lost water.... especially if you live in a dry area with little rain.
So really seeing as the world has the exact same amount of water as it did before I am not wasting water with my shower... and I am not l oosing water from my comunity since its going right back to being recycled.
we as people just need to find a way to distribute the water where it is most needed... but taking a shorter shower really isnt helping as much as you thought...
Where did you get the idea that we have to shower for 20 minutes to unwind from the day: for a start most people I know don't shower at night but in the morning and why 20 minutes? Why not 10 or 15 or 30?
It's true the world has the same amount of water it's always had, but there are billions more people not only using (and misusing) water but also walking around with a fair proportion of their bodies being water.
I live in one of the dryest continents in the world and grew up with only rainwater tanks; daily or twice daily showers are not necessary for cleanliness unless you're a coal miner or a ditch digger. Most of us don't do work which even raises a tiny bit of perspiration. Anyone watering a lawn these days is nearly 100# likely to have a sign on their fence assuring observers that they're using recycled water and do know where the water would go if I watered a lawn, it evaporates into the atmosphere, I knew that when I was about 6 years old.
I will continue to take shorter showers and also to have buckets in the shower so that at least some of the water can be recycled to flush the toilet, otherwise we all do it with top grade drinking water - ridiculous.
Umm... I got the idea from the fact that I take showers at night and from the fact that I find them relaxing. In fact I think most people find them relaxing.... my showers are normally 20min. If you take 15 or 25 thats fine... I never said it had to be 20 min. That was a suggested time
There is actually plenty of water for everyone... we just cant always get it to where its needed. If you live in a dry area and can not take a long shower I would suggest a bath. But dont get your jimmies rustled because other people can.
No one has a sign like that... I have never seen it.... maybe where you live.
I was giving you facts.
You can do that all you like... its not really helping but if it makes you feel better.
I would never drink the water I shower in... its not filtered enough ... I dont like the taste.
You're not understanding me, I don't want to take long showers and anyway a bath would use as much or more water. I don't have my "jimmies rustling" about anything - what are you talking about?
So no one has a sign like that because you've never seen one? I can assure you they are very common in Australia, where sensible people are concerned about wasting water and being seen to be responsible enough not to water their lawns with drinking water.
What facts were you giving? Sounded like ill informed opinion to me, not fact.
I didn't say anything about drinking shower water, I pointed out that surely ALL water from mains supply in western countries is drinking water quality, or do you have 2 separate pipes coming into your house, one supplying filtered drinking water and the other unfiltered? I doubt that very much, most of us have no choice but to wash dishes, our bodies, the floor and clothing with drinking water: I was merely pointing out that the drinking water we shower in can be recycled. It's called "borrowed water", a common concept in this country.
I am understanding you... you dont have to take long showers I never said you did.
you sounded pretty upset over "wasted water"...
The water in your sink and shower are the same... you can drink it...i wouldnt drink it myself is what I said.
I never said it was seperated... now your going off on stuff I never talked about.
I already pointed out how the water going down your drain is not wasted as it gets recycled.
look if your going to make comments on stuff I never said... your argument at this point is weak and flawed... 'reread my posts or something.
because I already stated a bunch of facts in them explaining recycled water and why a 20 min shower isnt wasting water...
iin trying to help daughter with temper so have extreme grounded her
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I was thinking teen as well...if she is in her teens my advice would be to stop.
I would sit down and have a heart to heart with your child. Tell them how you are feeling about their poor behavior. However tell them you would like to start over and loosen up a bit... but you expect respect. And then lay down some more reasonable rules... rules about grades in school and being back home by 10 or 11.
All your doing is hurting your relationship.
what is even with these rules you have now? Why does she have to quickly make a meal? Thats just silly.
isolating people from their friends will not help. Kids need to have friends for a support system and social skills.
keeping someone isolated from their family really makes things worse. People need their family members for support and love. When all else fails your family should always be there.
you monitoring phone calls os frowned upon... teens need space. The more you hover tge more she will want to hid things from you.
Trapping someone in their room for really long time is wrong...this could lead to depression. Your home is not a jail.
the car thing is fine if its your car... if its her car you cant do that.
I took 5 min showers in the military... you are not a drill sergeant. If you are trying to conserve water a 20min show is reasonable. Showers are a good time for relaxing and thinking.
Bathroom visits are not a privilege they are a basic human right.
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Yeah, I made a comment going in to the subject. My personal belief here is that it's not her that's the problem, it's the parenting that's the problem and she's just responding to the bad parenting with bad or sad behaviors.
She's seventeen and basically a domestic prisoner in her own home...Her teen years are limited and she's at the age where a lot of experiences needed for adulthood come in and she's being banned from having those experiences.
I felt pretty sad seeing this post. I don't envy that girl's position.
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I have to agree with you... she is most likely rebelling against the ridiculous "rules" at home.
My mom was pretty lenient... when I was a teen basically all I had to do was bring home good grades. And we have a great relationship.
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Yeah, I think I'm stating the obvious when you should give your child a good amount of freedom at certain ages aswell as a good and healthy amount of rules. Too much freedom away from rules and too much rules restricting freedom will most likely end in disaster. Lol.
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*nods*
My mom used to be strict when I was young... but as I got older she loosened the reins... I think thats the best way to parent.
im strict with my daughter now but I loosen up on things as she gets older.
Its a good way to show trust and understanding
Why on earth would anyone need 20 minutes in the shower to get clean? Just how dirty could you be? I would add to the sentence beginning "showers are" the ending: and wasting the world's resources unnecessarily.
The 5 minute showers are the only thing i agree with about this insane parent's rules.
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For relaxing and unwinding your day. Thats why you need 20 min...
Thanks to the hydrologic cycle... we drink and bathe in the exact same water our ansesters did. I meen if you think about it more so a problem of distribution.
water that goes down your sinks, toilets, ect stays in your local system getting recycled, becoming available again the next time you shower.
However water sprayed on a lawn will evaporate and you cant be sure where it goes from there. Your community could have just lost water.... especially if you live in a dry area with little rain.
So really seeing as the world has the exact same amount of water as it did before I am not wasting water with my shower... and I am not l oosing water from my comunity since its going right back to being recycled.
we as people just need to find a way to distribute the water where it is most needed... but taking a shorter shower really isnt helping as much as you thought...
--
Ellenna
8 years ago
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Where did you get the idea that we have to shower for 20 minutes to unwind from the day: for a start most people I know don't shower at night but in the morning and why 20 minutes? Why not 10 or 15 or 30?
It's true the world has the same amount of water it's always had, but there are billions more people not only using (and misusing) water but also walking around with a fair proportion of their bodies being water.
I live in one of the dryest continents in the world and grew up with only rainwater tanks; daily or twice daily showers are not necessary for cleanliness unless you're a coal miner or a ditch digger. Most of us don't do work which even raises a tiny bit of perspiration. Anyone watering a lawn these days is nearly 100# likely to have a sign on their fence assuring observers that they're using recycled water and do know where the water would go if I watered a lawn, it evaporates into the atmosphere, I knew that when I was about 6 years old.
I will continue to take shorter showers and also to have buckets in the shower so that at least some of the water can be recycled to flush the toilet, otherwise we all do it with top grade drinking water - ridiculous.
--
reminiscent
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Umm... I got the idea from the fact that I take showers at night and from the fact that I find them relaxing. In fact I think most people find them relaxing.... my showers are normally 20min. If you take 15 or 25 thats fine... I never said it had to be 20 min. That was a suggested time
There is actually plenty of water for everyone... we just cant always get it to where its needed. If you live in a dry area and can not take a long shower I would suggest a bath. But dont get your jimmies rustled because other people can.
No one has a sign like that... I have never seen it.... maybe where you live.
I was giving you facts.
You can do that all you like... its not really helping but if it makes you feel better.
I would never drink the water I shower in... its not filtered enough ... I dont like the taste.
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Ellenna
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You're not understanding me, I don't want to take long showers and anyway a bath would use as much or more water. I don't have my "jimmies rustling" about anything - what are you talking about?
So no one has a sign like that because you've never seen one? I can assure you they are very common in Australia, where sensible people are concerned about wasting water and being seen to be responsible enough not to water their lawns with drinking water.
What facts were you giving? Sounded like ill informed opinion to me, not fact.
I didn't say anything about drinking shower water, I pointed out that surely ALL water from mains supply in western countries is drinking water quality, or do you have 2 separate pipes coming into your house, one supplying filtered drinking water and the other unfiltered? I doubt that very much, most of us have no choice but to wash dishes, our bodies, the floor and clothing with drinking water: I was merely pointing out that the drinking water we shower in can be recycled. It's called "borrowed water", a common concept in this country.
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I am understanding you... you dont have to take long showers I never said you did.
you sounded pretty upset over "wasted water"...
The water in your sink and shower are the same... you can drink it...i wouldnt drink it myself is what I said.
I never said it was seperated... now your going off on stuff I never talked about.
I already pointed out how the water going down your drain is not wasted as it gets recycled.
look if your going to make comments on stuff I never said... your argument at this point is weak and flawed... 'reread my posts or something.
because I already stated a bunch of facts in them explaining recycled water and why a 20 min shower isnt wasting water...