This isn't going to help her. This will only make her dislike you far more and give her more to whine about. I would even say it borders on the line of child abuse. Five minute showers? How is she supposed to clean herself properly?
I'm getting the feeling that it is *you* that needs to change because her behavior is a response to yours as a parent. I could be wrong but that is the wibe I'm getting here.
You also mentioned a pastor? Which means your family is religious? By that and your willingness to take parental advice from a pastor who views what he said you should do as "advice" gives me the impression you're one of those strict religious parents, which I can only imagine being hellish for the kid.
What you need to do is meet her half way. Punish her for her bad behaviors but also reward her for her good behaviors. Ofcourse, this doesn't mean that every good thing she does gets a reward but that if there is a trend of good behavior you should reward her, perhaps by doing something you both enjoy doing so you can also bond more.
Stop what you're doing with her now. Tell her the grounding is over. Admit you were wrong to go to such extremes and tell her that there will still be punishments for bad behavior but that's only whe it's warranted.
She's seventeen. She's almost an adult and you've taken every choice she should be allowed to make away from her. No wonder she is "whining" or crying...You're treating her terribly.
You need to work on your parenting more than she needs to work on her behavior because from what you've said here, I can definitely see her behavior as being a response to how you are treating her.
iin trying to help daughter with temper so have extreme grounded her
← View full post
This isn't going to help her. This will only make her dislike you far more and give her more to whine about. I would even say it borders on the line of child abuse. Five minute showers? How is she supposed to clean herself properly?
I'm getting the feeling that it is *you* that needs to change because her behavior is a response to yours as a parent. I could be wrong but that is the wibe I'm getting here.
You also mentioned a pastor? Which means your family is religious? By that and your willingness to take parental advice from a pastor who views what he said you should do as "advice" gives me the impression you're one of those strict religious parents, which I can only imagine being hellish for the kid.
What you need to do is meet her half way. Punish her for her bad behaviors but also reward her for her good behaviors. Ofcourse, this doesn't mean that every good thing she does gets a reward but that if there is a trend of good behavior you should reward her, perhaps by doing something you both enjoy doing so you can also bond more.
Stop what you're doing with her now. Tell her the grounding is over. Admit you were wrong to go to such extremes and tell her that there will still be punishments for bad behavior but that's only whe it's warranted.
She's seventeen. She's almost an adult and you've taken every choice she should be allowed to make away from her. No wonder she is "whining" or crying...You're treating her terribly.
You need to work on your parenting more than she needs to work on her behavior because from what you've said here, I can definitely see her behavior as being a response to how you are treating her.