IIN to worry that the government made Ebola,now the poor are gonna die

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  • The following are things that I fear far more than getting Ebola:

    *Inhales deeply*

    *exhales while talking at a quick pace*

    -Getting the flu
    -Contracting an STD
    -Getting knocked up after using contraception
    -Gaining back the weight that I literally worked my ass off to lose. Seriously, I like have no ass now
    -The hobo I kicked out that plucks cups from the trash and steals soda from my soda machine at work
    -Bedbugs, fleas, bird mites. Hell, anything that can infest my home and cost me thousands of dollars that I don't have to spend
    -Bill collectors that constantly call me over unpaid hospital bills
    -Hugh Jackman

    *takes a breath*

    Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a Scrubs marathon to watch.

    *bumps your shoulder as I walk away from you*

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    • two of those you can deal with easily, i mean even hookers use a jollybag

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      • But do hookers carry beer and all the cinnamon sugar bakery products I can eat, Mr loopy doopy derpy doo la poo?

        No, I didn't think so.

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        • i wouldnt know hun, but im guessing the answer is no

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          • You bet your sweet virgin anus it's no.
            Now either give me back my buss pass that you stole from the garage or just get the hell out of my way.

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            • and by the way, my anus is sweet, for sure, but definitely no virgin ;)

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              • Silly looper mooper hooper pooper scooper. There is no bus. The bus is just a metaphor for time. Time is money. Money is green. Green is the color of boogers. Boogers come from the nose. The nose is in the middle of the face. The middle is the halfway point from the beginning and end. The end as in the location youre taken to strapped to an old tree that was loaded into a car that has somehow gained the ability to fly. It'll fly into the sunset and you'll gain the ability to fry chicken with the fingernail located on your thumb.
                And you're going to like the way you look. I GUARANTEE IT!!!!

                *eats a mint chocolate Balance Bar and dances among the banana flavored toasters*

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            • you'll get nothing from me,chuck, yall better get youself back down to the welfare place that deal that shit out. you can tell them it was me,i stole it. theyll never find me

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