I try not to take it personally, but I won't invent excuses for why people sneer at others for no apparent reason. This woman wasn't satisfied to just be snotty to me, blow off steam and then move on with her day; she went outside, unloaded her groceries, and then waddled back in to make sure she thoroughly screwed me over. Who knows, maybe this complaint was the excuse my boss needed to get rid of me. Does she know what's going on in MY life? No, and she didn't care. SHE didn't need to try and contemplate the reasons behind my imagined rudeness, yet as retail workers were constantly asked and expected to make excuses for the assholes we encounter. Maybe that makes it easier for some people to cope with the abuse, I don't know. It doesn't for me. To me, no matter what you're going through, you're still expected to act like an adult, and treat people with basic human dignity. Your troubles do not entitle you to shit all over people you don't know.
Well I don't know what happened or what was said but I tell you, there will always be assholes, who take their bad day, year or decade out on someone. Of course they're not entitled to do that, but there's nothing to prevent it from happening at any stage so it's best to be prepared have a thick skin and a stiff upper lip. I'm sorry to hear you lost your job.
On a second scan of your comment I realized you're not making excuses for her, you're simply saying that you can't account for why people act that way, so just don't take it personally. I'm just so used to other people literally telling me to completely forgive and excuse their behavior because "you don't know what they're going through" that I assumed that's what you meant. I actually didn't lose my job, I just used that as a what-if situation to show that she didn't even consider that that could be a possible outcome, and if she did, she didn't care.
I was just telling my coworker yesterday that my big problem is that I expect people to act in a rational, logical way, and even after all these years I haven't figured out that that's NEVER going to be the case. And as a result I'm always baffled, hurt and angry.
Definitely not making excuses for her. There is no excuse behind that behaviour but it always helps me to understand that there is a backstory there, more to it. You can detach easier. I've worked in customer service/retail most my life so trust me, I know where you're coming from and my sympathies are with you.
The thing is to not let it defeat you or your service excellence to others.
I think getting as upset and angry in return to the irrational person just gives them power, fuels them on. As hard as it is, I actually turn the "polite meter" up in these situations and give them nothing. The way they are behaving is then put in stark contrast with yourself and you maintain dignity and professionalism. Alot of the time this actually calms them down cos from whatever bad place they're in they can snap back to reality in some cases.
It's never an easy thing but you do get hardened/wiser/better at it over time. Good luck in the future.
Is it normal to wish the demise of really unpleasant people?
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I try not to take it personally, but I won't invent excuses for why people sneer at others for no apparent reason. This woman wasn't satisfied to just be snotty to me, blow off steam and then move on with her day; she went outside, unloaded her groceries, and then waddled back in to make sure she thoroughly screwed me over. Who knows, maybe this complaint was the excuse my boss needed to get rid of me. Does she know what's going on in MY life? No, and she didn't care. SHE didn't need to try and contemplate the reasons behind my imagined rudeness, yet as retail workers were constantly asked and expected to make excuses for the assholes we encounter. Maybe that makes it easier for some people to cope with the abuse, I don't know. It doesn't for me. To me, no matter what you're going through, you're still expected to act like an adult, and treat people with basic human dignity. Your troubles do not entitle you to shit all over people you don't know.
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Holzman_67
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Well I don't know what happened or what was said but I tell you, there will always be assholes, who take their bad day, year or decade out on someone. Of course they're not entitled to do that, but there's nothing to prevent it from happening at any stage so it's best to be prepared have a thick skin and a stiff upper lip. I'm sorry to hear you lost your job.
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Holzman_67
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On a second scan of your comment I realized you're not making excuses for her, you're simply saying that you can't account for why people act that way, so just don't take it personally. I'm just so used to other people literally telling me to completely forgive and excuse their behavior because "you don't know what they're going through" that I assumed that's what you meant. I actually didn't lose my job, I just used that as a what-if situation to show that she didn't even consider that that could be a possible outcome, and if she did, she didn't care.
I was just telling my coworker yesterday that my big problem is that I expect people to act in a rational, logical way, and even after all these years I haven't figured out that that's NEVER going to be the case. And as a result I'm always baffled, hurt and angry.
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Holzman_67
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Definitely not making excuses for her. There is no excuse behind that behaviour but it always helps me to understand that there is a backstory there, more to it. You can detach easier. I've worked in customer service/retail most my life so trust me, I know where you're coming from and my sympathies are with you.
The thing is to not let it defeat you or your service excellence to others.
I think getting as upset and angry in return to the irrational person just gives them power, fuels them on. As hard as it is, I actually turn the "polite meter" up in these situations and give them nothing. The way they are behaving is then put in stark contrast with yourself and you maintain dignity and professionalism. Alot of the time this actually calms them down cos from whatever bad place they're in they can snap back to reality in some cases.
It's never an easy thing but you do get hardened/wiser/better at it over time. Good luck in the future.
And always remember; you're not the problem.