Is it normal to wish my penis was smaller?

Sure. Everybody has their kink. ;) Maybe you can find someone out there willsill roleplay with you, and you can pretend you're smaller (or that you'll never be big enough, or something)?

I know that the solutions I suggested sounds very psychological or even philosophic. It is the introvert way. Another commentator points out a more extrovert solution: find some one who are in to roll plays to tell you that you have a small penis.

That might be fine and funny for a while. But to be honest I don't think it would help you in a bigger perspective and in the long run. Soon or later it would make you unhappy.

I'm not saying it couldn't be great for awhile. I actually know it could. Yes! I've tried it. And it wasn't even a role-play. Rather some kind of a misunderstanding. A guy with a REALLY tiny one had seen mine and was impressed. That started a roomer, so a lot of people thought I was like HUUUUUGE. Then there was this girl who had I-don't-know-what-expectations and was very disappointed. Not even wasn't it how she imagined. She actually didn't thought it was in any way out of the ordinary, but rather small.

Yes! I was extremely exited. That is the irony of it: that one time I met a girl, that actually thought it was small, was probably the biggest erection I had ever had.

So - yes, I know.

But it is only for a little while that kind of thing works.

If you want to feel good, be happy and able to relax inside your body, the other way is necessary.

Well, here's at thing of importance - as I said before: the penis is not the problem, it is a symbol of the problem.

But not just any random symbol!

It is a symbol of the problem because it actually can be used for drawing a metaphorical picture of the problem. That means that we can get some knowledge of the problem be analyzing the symbol.

What do we know from earlier?

1) We found out, that guys like us, who a slightly above average, might feel homeless and like we doesn't belong anywhere, because we are neither medium or large.

2) Then we found out, that we are forced to compete, but can't and doesn't even want to.

3) Further more we saw the aspect of control. In our position everything is uncertain. Another guy could have a bigger or a smaller. There's no way of knowing. Only doubt and to many possibilities. But … if we had a penis, that was barely average or even quite small, we could almost be sure, that the other guy had a bigger one. By knowing that for a fact, we would be in control.

4) Last but not least we found out, that our penis might not reflect our personality. Even though we have border-penises that are not definite big, they are to close to big, for someone who doesn't feel like a big-penis-person.

That should tell us a bit about the problem.

About 1): Maybe in other aspects of life we feel like we doesn't belong. We might think we are different in some way.

About 2): Maybe in our daily life there are expectations and claims we feel unable to live up to, meet and fulfill.

About 3): Maybe there are some difficult uncertainties in our lives. Or maybe too many situations we feel unable to control.

About 4): Maybe we have difficulties about showing other people how we really are. Or maybe we feel misjudged by other people.
There are some similarities in those things. Perhaps we have often been misunderstood? Perhaps we think the world is chaotic, feels a little lost in it and longing for some kind of order/system?

Please be aware, that I said "maybe" and "perhaps" about all those things. It could be like that. Or it could be in another way.

But at least it should demonstrate, that there actually ARE clues in the symbol about the nature of the problem. I am just not sure I read the clues right or even managed to found out what the clues are. But I do not doubt, that there ARE clues, and that they actually CAN reveal the true nature of the problem.

So the solution?

That's simple: Finding out what the real problem is and what to do about it!

Off course - that goes for myself as well. We can both sit for the rest of our lives and dream about having this nice little penis and try to masturbate the fear out of the body, every time we are afraid that the one we got could be bigger than someone we think it might suit to be better equipped than us.

Or …

We can follow the signs beyond the symbol and walk down the path that lead us to the true matter and then do something about it.

Before I go into the search of a useful solution, I would like to say a bit about solutions I think are down right idiotic, because they simply doesn't help.

All that talk about liking your penis and being satisfied with the one you got. Well, that is exactly the problem. If only we were able to do that. But we are not. It is like saying to a person who's afraid of heights: "Oh, you shouldn't be. Just go up into that tower." But the person IS afraid of heights and doesn't dare to go up in that tower.

Some would then say. "Take it step by step. You stand on a newspaper, then on a book and so on".

It is stupid!

The reason why?

Because it doesn't come anywhere near the true problem.

Maybe that person actually might get cured for fear of heights. But just as soon as it is gone, it would get a new phobia.

I heard about this little child who had all kinds of inflammations. The doctor just gave it penicillin, penicillin and more penicillin. Until the parents found out, the child had allergy against milk.

That silly doctor is not the only one. That is how most people - especially so called experts - try to deal with any kind of illness.

That is NOT a solution!

For a real cure you need to find the actual problem.

And let there be no doubt: neither for you or me the actual problem is the size of our penises.

Believe me when I say, that I know how you feel and how painful that is. Some might think it is just some kind of funny little game you got going, that giving you some grate and enjoyable fantasies. I do not! I know how you are suffering and feel that you are eaten up inside by that extra inch or two. There might be just a dash of pleasure somewhere in the puzzle, but probably you are suffering the most, when the hints of pleasure peaks. Believe me - I know!

But you must believe me about this too: that is NOT the case. It just seems like the case, because you have mixed up the concrete and symbolic.

So in the next paragraph we will go on a search for what is buried behind the mask of the symbol ...

As I go further into the discussion of the subject, it will be a bit more complex ideas. But let's begin with something quite simple.

Maybe sometimes you feel that your size not suits you, do not reflect what kind of person you are. In your statement you tell, that you are submissive when it comes to sex. Thinking about what kind of concepts are usually connected to penis sizes, a big penis is usually not considered the signature of a submissive person. So it may be a bit like introducing yourself by handing out someone elses business-card.

I said maybe. I don't know you, and I' not trying tot analyze you. I'm just saying "maybe". Maybe you look at it and think: "That is not who I am."

Then again - maybe you don't. I don't know. My reasons for saying this was just a short cut to something a bit more complicated.

Well, here it comes …

If at least you can deal with the thought of seeing a penis as a reflection of the person it belongs to, it shouldn't be that difficult to think of a penis as symbol. Not necessarily a sexual symbol, but a symbol of whatever it could mean and reflect to somebody.

It seems there are basically two kinds of penis-owners: those who are REALLY fond of it, and those who are definitely NOT. Very few are neutral. For most it is either love or hate.

Personally I think, that the reasons for that, is a matter of what it symbolizes for that person. If it symbolizes something positive, he loves his penis, if it symbolizes something negative, he hates it.

In both cases he will be reminded of whatever it symbolizes, every time he sees it. That means several times everyday, unless he is staring up at the ceiling when he's peeing. So a lot of reminders of something either positive or negative.

Now let's focus on the group for which it is symbolizing something negative. If you feel that way about your penis, you may not be able to divide your physical penis from what it symbolizes. An important point about this is, that it IS your specific penis, that symbolizes that. Not any other. Not even others that look a lot like yours. It is exactly THAT one and only copy that symbolizes that.

Therefore you can fall into a kind of "grass is always greener". Since no other symbolizes those unpleasant matters you are seeing in your own, everyone else seems better.

Believe me, it is possible to envy ANYTHING. Once a girl told me, that she always had very clean skin, so in her teenage years she envied the other girls' pimples. Simply a matter of what she had not - "the grass is always greener".

In this case the problem is, that concrete and symbolic are not separated enough, but mixed up with each other. You have some kind of problem, sorrow, worry or whatever it is, and you see your penis as a picture of that. Then comes the misunderstanding: you think you can get rid of whatever bothers you and solve the problem by replacing your penis with another.

Let's face it: that is not the way. Your penis is innocent of what ever it is, it just reminds you of it. If you got another one, that one would feel just as stressful.

Remember: it is NOT the problem. It is just a symbol of it. A new one will be exactly the same. You got to look at the problem it self to solve it.

To understand this in connection to get turned on, you must remember what I said about shifting tenses. Being reminded of something unpleasant is a tension. But turning your frustrations and fear to arousal, well like I told you: you get peace.

Well, at least for a while.

The problem isn't solved, and that damned penis will keep on reminding you about it. This is a tension too, and a matter of opposites as well: there is something, you don't want to think about, and you are constantly being reminded of it. That is truly stressing. It is not surprising if you feel, that your penis is driving you mad. But give it a go, and there's peace for a while.

But still - the problem is not solved. It is like taking a pill for pains. The pains are still there, and will come back as soon as the effect of the pill is over.

So - you are actually in some kind of mental prison.

Is there a solution?

I will get back to that question!

This time I will say a bit about control and how this works with the other elements.

I mentioned control, when I told you about tensions, saying that loosing control is a part of a tension. But not just losing - gaining as well. Because if you are about to loose control, you will try to hold on to it, and be sure that if you are trying to establish control, it is because you are about to loose. Else you won't need to! - So there you got oppositions again.

A way of securing control is to make things worse than they are. Everybody who has been unsecured about what some might say, to some kind of work they have done, has used the trick of being an extremely hard critic on them self. "Oh, that is some hit. Not good at all." That is a way of getting control. Because if you are hard enough on yourself, nobody can say something worse. You know better than anyone what would hurt you the most. So repeating the most hurting thing up in your head again and again, you are on the safe side. No one can reach you with their criticism.

Remember what I said about penis size being like a boxing fight? And even more I said, that guys like us are kind of forced into the game without a chance to win.

Well, being thrown into a boxing ring against your will and then knocked-out as soon as the fight begins is not much fun. So using the same system as against criticism you say: I am no fighter. I am weak, I am slow, I don't know the techniques of a good punch and so on. You are out of the ring. By making yourself even more weak and slow you move further away. You might add a handicap or two to make sure, and move even further away.

At last at safe distance … you are in control!

It is exactly the same with penis size. If you are just slightly above average, there might me just a glimse of a chance, it is the biggest she have ever seen (though it is highly unlikely). Why put yourself through that hell? If it is so small, that there is not one bit of a chance it is the biggest she have ever seen, you are on the safe side and completely in control.

You can't compete, but you don't have to either!

And that's the point: you're getting out of that awful situation, where you are forced to compete, but can't. You don't have to. You are free and out of trouble!

That's a kind of security-system. But how can this be something that makes you horny?

Because of the tensions and oppositions!

And maybe one more thing (or rather: another opposition): to gain control you have to loose something else (a part of your size). Actually the system requires that you go to a lower position, moving further away from the champion. And be sure: that WILL cause tension!

I stated the points of the category, the competition and the tensions.

Before I move further to other areas, I would like to say a bit about combinations of those three and how they work together.

I told you about the opposition-element in tensions. Well here's important: that border-position between two categories (medium and large) actually IS a kind of oppositions, simply because you are caught in the middle between two different things, and can't find shelter in any of them.

In the paragraph about competition I've talked about the problem of being forced into take part in the game but not able to. That surely is a tense field of oppositions.

So you see - these things a linked together in many ways.

They do not explain everything about the subject. But they surely explain something and uncovers at least a part of this phenomena.

This time I will say a bit more about tensions!

If all tensions are very much alike, it must be possible to change one with another. And sometimes that may offer you a way out of something horrible.

Instead of going into a state of complet panic, you get a hard on, masturbate and finds peace.

But using that method is a disguise. So you are disguising your panic and anxiety as something sexy.

Is that posible? Yes!It actually is.

But let's talk about panic and anxiety for a moment. Besides making you feel very unpleasent, they tell you that the world is a dangerous place, that you are all alone, that you are up against terrible enemies, that things can't go right but surely will go wrong and so on, and so on.

Remember what I said about disguises!

Well! If it is those things mentioned above you mask up as something sexy, it is not surprising to find some kind of masochistic element in the fantasies you go into. And YES - that may very well be: "All the other guys got a lot bigger penis, and they are laughing at me, because mine is so tiny."

Afterwards you might be a bit surprised about your self and thinking: "Why does that turn me on?"

But look at it this way: It is better to be turned on by such a fantasy, than being scared to death.

In previous explanations about this phenomena I realize that I haven't said anything about being turned on by the thought of being small.

I will get to that in this paragraph.

A turn-on is a tension, and not that different from other tensions. It might be more pleasant than most other tension, such as being nervous or scared. But in fact there isn't that much of a difference.

Some of the ingredients (among many others!) in ANY tension is oppositions and lose of control.

Those actually ARE among the things, not only to scare and frighten you, but also to turn you on. No matter what kind of kick/kink a person may have, look closely and you will find those elements hidden somewhere in it!

I have made the categorial point: caught between medium and large.

I mentioned that most in that situation longs for large.

Let's give it a thought why.

It must have something to do with competition. That is not surprising. The western civilisation is extremely competetive in a lot of ways. Actually most things end up in a question of being best, and in most cases best are translated to biggest, fastest, highest, strongest and so on. So not much of a surprise there.

But there is a problem connected to winning. What about next time?

Som boxing fighter make a fabulous knock-out and he is the champion, Until the next fight ...

You can never be sure!

That goes for penises too. Unless it is extremely enormous (which is in fact quite unpractical, and a problem for those few who actually is) there alway will be someone even bigger. It is a road without end.

So instead of joining the fight it DOES make sense not to. Especially when you are in the border-category. Because if it is not definite big but somewhere close to, it is like being forced to competition, but nok able to. More than medium means you are in the fight, but less than true large means you can't win. That's quite a bore!

But as I just stated: even if it IS big, you are not sure to win, and to be sure you need something that would be more like deformed than well-equipped.

So looking the other way is just saying: "Let me out of the boxing ring. I don't want to fight."

After thinking a bit more, I would like to share some of my ideas and theories about the subject. Maybe it can be helpful for others in the same situation.

Let's start with something quite simple and not too complex: there is a categorial question somewhere in this matter!

Guys like us, who are slightly above average are kind of homeless - neither medium or large, but somewhere in-between. There is comfort and safety connected to belong somewhere, and therefore it is sometimes very unpleasant not to.

Standing there you can look in one or the other direction. Because a bit less, and you would be safe home among the medium species, and a bit more in good company of the large species.

It is commonly known that most in that situation wish they were up in the large-category. But why should it be less natural to long for the medium-category? That is actually where most of the penises are to find!

It was really interesting to read yhat. Because I feel ecsactly the same way. Just like you I'm just a little bit over average, and just like you I get exited by the thought of being below.

I have given it a lot of though why. But this will be a very long comment, if I should explain all my theories. But the button line: yes, I think it is normal but of course a bit unusual.

What is "average" penis size and how do you know? If you really feel this way, then I suggest you look at circumsion as a way of reducing size although it will probably be painful at your age.

Quality problem, my friend