Ya, it's normal to feel angry about the short-comings of the adult authority figures in your life. Not all adults make excellent parents but they end up having children anyway. Have you told him how you feel? Have you talked to your mum about it?
Well, you don't tell them you hate them or even that they make you angry because it sounds too much like blame and most normal people rarely enjoy being blamed for anything. Ask yourself this: do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
Instead, you could tell him that you are upset by the "whole situation" - be very careful not to place blame on him, even though that's how you feel. Tell him some of the things you do think he's done right; try to show him a little empathy (he is sick, in his brain, and that IS a legitimate way of being sick, whether it is convenient for everyone else or not). If your father still seems open to discussion at this point, then bring up your brother and tell him that you'd wish he'd go easier on him; tell him that it hurts you to see your brother and him not get along. Give him the opportunity to explain himself without your judgement of him.
If ^this^ conversation goes well, then the next time (give it a week or two) you have a meaningful conversation with him, bring up your own personal issues with him - again, without making it sound at all like blame; keep the focus on you and your feelings.
I'm not saying this WILL work because I've never met you or your father and I don't know how either of your typically acts or reacts (all I have is a brief description of events from your perspective). If approaching him with kindness and empathy fails to improve understanding between you, you may just have to reserve this conversation for another time when you're a bit older and he's a bit healthier.
Is it normal to wish death upon...
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Ya, it's normal to feel angry about the short-comings of the adult authority figures in your life. Not all adults make excellent parents but they end up having children anyway. Have you told him how you feel? Have you talked to your mum about it?
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valeris
11 years ago
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I've told my mom numerous times. As for my father, no. How does one tell somebody that you hate them, or rather, very angry.
It's too uncomfortable.
Thanks for the comment
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[Old Memory]
11 years ago
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Well, you don't tell them you hate them or even that they make you angry because it sounds too much like blame and most normal people rarely enjoy being blamed for anything. Ask yourself this: do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
Instead, you could tell him that you are upset by the "whole situation" - be very careful not to place blame on him, even though that's how you feel. Tell him some of the things you do think he's done right; try to show him a little empathy (he is sick, in his brain, and that IS a legitimate way of being sick, whether it is convenient for everyone else or not). If your father still seems open to discussion at this point, then bring up your brother and tell him that you'd wish he'd go easier on him; tell him that it hurts you to see your brother and him not get along. Give him the opportunity to explain himself without your judgement of him.
If ^this^ conversation goes well, then the next time (give it a week or two) you have a meaningful conversation with him, bring up your own personal issues with him - again, without making it sound at all like blame; keep the focus on you and your feelings.
I'm not saying this WILL work because I've never met you or your father and I don't know how either of your typically acts or reacts (all I have is a brief description of events from your perspective). If approaching him with kindness and empathy fails to improve understanding between you, you may just have to reserve this conversation for another time when you're a bit older and he's a bit healthier.
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valeris
11 years ago
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Thank you.
I'll give it a shot! :)