I've been there recently watching my dad die of cancer. In the end, I had to take the decision to let him die but he was in so much pain :o( and the stress almost killed me. They thought I'd taken a stroke when I collapsed but instead of that I've went deaf. You must take a little time out for yourself and do not push yourself past your own limits. Of course, you want to be there but what I think you're expressing is the 'expectation' that you'll be there but what about your brother? Can you not phone him and ask him to give you a night off as you're exhausted? Or he could do alternate evenings? He probably thinks you're doing a great job and he would be in the way, listening to you and your mom chatter. Men can feel awkward and unable to express how they feel.
You don't say how long you've been visiting / doing this or how long they expect your dad to live but when you are so depressed you need a night off. Your dad would not want you to make yourself ill.
Just for the record, after I refused fluids for my dad on the Friday I knew he would be dead in two days. I said my goodbyes on Saturday and did not go up again on Sunday. My mom and siblings understood because they knew I couldn't cope with any more and I didn't want to faint or create a scene when he was trying to slip away peacefully. I do not regret it, so don't be too hard on yourself if you miss him passing. Many patients will not die until they are on their own with peace and quiet.
Is it normal to want to stop the world to get off it??
← View full post
I've been there recently watching my dad die of cancer. In the end, I had to take the decision to let him die but he was in so much pain :o( and the stress almost killed me. They thought I'd taken a stroke when I collapsed but instead of that I've went deaf. You must take a little time out for yourself and do not push yourself past your own limits. Of course, you want to be there but what I think you're expressing is the 'expectation' that you'll be there but what about your brother? Can you not phone him and ask him to give you a night off as you're exhausted? Or he could do alternate evenings? He probably thinks you're doing a great job and he would be in the way, listening to you and your mom chatter. Men can feel awkward and unable to express how they feel.
You don't say how long you've been visiting / doing this or how long they expect your dad to live but when you are so depressed you need a night off. Your dad would not want you to make yourself ill.
Just for the record, after I refused fluids for my dad on the Friday I knew he would be dead in two days. I said my goodbyes on Saturday and did not go up again on Sunday. My mom and siblings understood because they knew I couldn't cope with any more and I didn't want to faint or create a scene when he was trying to slip away peacefully. I do not regret it, so don't be too hard on yourself if you miss him passing. Many patients will not die until they are on their own with peace and quiet.