I wasn't a big fan of his priorities at the time. I thought he should concentrate on getting the best education possible rather than a girl, and he said he wanted to, but he didn't show at he was committed to the idea. I offered to help him with his applications and such, but he refused my assistance.
I was also scared he would find some other girl at college. We were 100% good when we were in each other's presence, but it could be really difficult when we weren't together because we didn't talk enough.
It doesn't make much sense looking back on it, but it seemed to make sense at the time. I'm not sure what I was thinking.
To me, that all made perfect sense. Fuck what Tonzo said.
You did something admirable, maybe not in the best way possible, but, you did what you did, there is no way to "undo" it.
What you say, I am sure, a LOT of people go through.
Communication is the key to any relationship, especially long-distance. If nothing else, if you just learn that, you are way ahead of the game!
Look, you did what you thought was right at the time, you have had time to think about it, your feelings for him haven't changed, I am sure you have done some maturing, it is nice you want to get back with him. Any dude in the world should feel special, no matter how hurt he was back then. Again, pain is part of life. He SHOULD pursue his education, but, that doesn't mean you have to put your personal life on hold. It just means you have to make priorities, and, school must come first. But, you can make it work!!!
You should have respected his want to stay near you for college. Your ex probably did weigh up his choices and if that's what he liked, that's what he liked.
Don't literally show up on his doorstep. There's a chance he won't even be at home, plus, you could shock a potentially negative reaction out of him if he is at home. Give him some time to think about it. There's always a possibility that he's already dating someone else and that he already moved on from you.
Send a letter. Don't expect anything back. Try to stay calm while you pass the time. Maybe link this IIN post?
Crow is 100% right. He may have moved on, or is at least dating someone else. You don't want to walk into that situation. Even if he is with someone else right now, your letter may be the motivation he needs to end that relationship and come back to you.
Best thing you can do is give it time, and, don't get nosey about what he has been up to SINCE you broke it off. Any girls he's been with are inconsequential at this time, and likely, he did find someone on the "rebound". But, that shouldn't stop you. You just might have to wait until the time is right.
First time I met my wife, asked her out, she was already in a long-term relationship.
I didn't forget about her, just moved on.
About a year and a half later, saw her again, she had broke up with him, she was not seeing anyone, I wasn't seeing anyone, we fell in love, FAST. It was meant to be.
I was going to go with a letter anyways. I am better at organizing my thoughts on paper. I know. I wouldn't blame him or get all nosey about other girls because I did go on a few dates with a guy myself. (I learned I really just missed my ex rather than actually falling for the guy.)
Is it normal to want to see my ex 5-10 years in the future?
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I wasn't a big fan of his priorities at the time. I thought he should concentrate on getting the best education possible rather than a girl, and he said he wanted to, but he didn't show at he was committed to the idea. I offered to help him with his applications and such, but he refused my assistance.
I was also scared he would find some other girl at college. We were 100% good when we were in each other's presence, but it could be really difficult when we weren't together because we didn't talk enough.
It doesn't make much sense looking back on it, but it seemed to make sense at the time. I'm not sure what I was thinking.
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IINtobeonthiswebsite
8 years ago
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Crow
8 years ago
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To me, that all made perfect sense. Fuck what Tonzo said.
You did something admirable, maybe not in the best way possible, but, you did what you did, there is no way to "undo" it.
What you say, I am sure, a LOT of people go through.
Communication is the key to any relationship, especially long-distance. If nothing else, if you just learn that, you are way ahead of the game!
Look, you did what you thought was right at the time, you have had time to think about it, your feelings for him haven't changed, I am sure you have done some maturing, it is nice you want to get back with him. Any dude in the world should feel special, no matter how hurt he was back then. Again, pain is part of life. He SHOULD pursue his education, but, that doesn't mean you have to put your personal life on hold. It just means you have to make priorities, and, school must come first. But, you can make it work!!!
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PinkHairedFreak
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Thank you for the confidence. (:
You should have respected his want to stay near you for college. Your ex probably did weigh up his choices and if that's what he liked, that's what he liked.
Don't literally show up on his doorstep. There's a chance he won't even be at home, plus, you could shock a potentially negative reaction out of him if he is at home. Give him some time to think about it. There's always a possibility that he's already dating someone else and that he already moved on from you.
Send a letter. Don't expect anything back. Try to stay calm while you pass the time. Maybe link this IIN post?
Good luck, anyway.
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IINtobeonthiswebsite
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Crow is 100% right. He may have moved on, or is at least dating someone else. You don't want to walk into that situation. Even if he is with someone else right now, your letter may be the motivation he needs to end that relationship and come back to you.
Best thing you can do is give it time, and, don't get nosey about what he has been up to SINCE you broke it off. Any girls he's been with are inconsequential at this time, and likely, he did find someone on the "rebound". But, that shouldn't stop you. You just might have to wait until the time is right.
First time I met my wife, asked her out, she was already in a long-term relationship.
I didn't forget about her, just moved on.
About a year and a half later, saw her again, she had broke up with him, she was not seeing anyone, I wasn't seeing anyone, we fell in love, FAST. It was meant to be.
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PinkHairedFreak
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I was going to go with a letter anyways. I am better at organizing my thoughts on paper. I know. I wouldn't blame him or get all nosey about other girls because I did go on a few dates with a guy myself. (I learned I really just missed my ex rather than actually falling for the guy.)