I almost want to do that, but it's been months, and the whole breakup was a big mess of tears and anger for both of us. He did harass me on social media for most of June and July. Eventually, he confessed to wanting to hurt me emotionally.
I don't know that he would welcome me back right now.
Well, you'll never know if you don't try! Risk it, what do you have to loose? At least you'll know, and, won't waste any more time just wondering about "what could be".
I don't like the part of him being mean on social media...I mean, I get it, but, not on social media.
My GF (and now my wiife) broke up with me for a short while in college. It was weird too, because, it was the one year we actually were to be together at school, and, as soon as I got there (she moved in early, which they allow freshman and new transfer students to do), she was already breaking up with me. It only lasted a few weeks, it seemed like an eternity.
Long story short, I was devestated, hurt and then angry too....I think there is a normal progression of emotions we go through after a breakup. I don't mean to come down on your BF, had there been social media, I think I'd have been tempted too to do the same...I dunno. I got some solace from a friend who knew the guy she left me for...he told me this dude was a real dork, a red-neck...not that there is anything wrong with being a red-neck, but, my GF (now wife) is anything BUT. I really didn't see what she saw in him, and, deep down, I think I kind of knew, give it time, she'll be back. Sure enough. One day, "knock knock knock", there she was at my door. We went through a lot of emotional stuff, she told me some things about her she had never told to anyone before...it brought us closer together.
Anyway, forgiveness is the key to any good relationship. When you do see and talk to him, that is the first thing to ask for. And, in turn, he should apologize for the way he treated you too, but, you need to understand, you broke his heart, hurt his ego. For a guy, that is really really tough, their pride gets bruised. They are actually worse than women when it comes to that.
Now, maybe he'll not forgive you, maybe he won't want to come back at all, or, maybe you'll just be platonic "friends". Then again, even if this does happen, maybe someday, he'll realize that you WERE the best thing that happened to him, and, come around...hopefully, if that is the case, you are still available, and havn't been swept off your feet by another Prince Charming!
Either way, life is far too short to wonder "what if". And, whatever pain and anguish you go through to find out if you can get back together, it is far worth it versus spending a lifetime of wondering "what if...". Don't do the "what if" game. It is torture.
The best thing that can happen is, no matter what the outcome, you will learn a TON about yourself and relationships, and be ready to handle things much differently the next time the right guy comes along, be it this one or someone else!
Believe it or not, you grow up, mature, change emotionally. All part of tthe process.
A letter is a good start. But, don't expect a reply. Send the letter, give it some time, then, go show up.
Do it right away.
Be short and concise in the letter. Don't blame him for ANYTHING! Apologize, tell him how much you think it was a mistake to ever break up, that is was your fault, and that you'd like to see him again, look forward to seeing him and discussing your relationship in person. Don't tell him you plan to come see him unannounced, but, I'd at least do that if he doesn't respond. Then, you at least have a starting place for the conversation. And, I'd send it as a hand-written letter, not an email. Too easy for someone to say "I never got your email, musta gotten lost", plus, a hand-written letter is much more personal.
But, doesn't he come home at some point? Maybe you can plan to see him then, if it isn't too long from now.
As for him seeing other girls while at school. You have so little faith in him and yourself? Come one. There are other guys at home too, right? Who knows what either of you are gonna find in the future, you may not last forever, or you might. Take it one day at a time. My advice would be, if you DO get back together with him, keep the relationship on a POSITIVE note at all times. That doesn't mean you might not ever disagree, or have an argument, BUT, never leave angry....saying "I am sorry" is the BEST thing you can do in ANY relationship, not just long distance ones.
You should also let him know how you feel about him, often. Tell him you think you are lucky to have found him, how good you think you two are together, both now and in the future. You got to remind people of why you are together. Then, when you are together, find special things to do, try going someplace you have never been, or doing something you have never done. Then, later, you have things you can reminisce about. Keep a photo album to look back at on occasions. Don't be that crazy chick that keeps an elaborate scrap-book that takes hours to compile and yanks it out every time you get together, just, something simple, and, look at it together every few months, or, on a special occasion like your anniversary.
My wife and I still look at pics from when we were first together, it reminds me of how hot she was, how much fun we had, and why we are still together....so, that, when she does things that PISS ME OFF, I can remember why I fell in love with her in the first place, and, that life is full of twists in the road....not everything is gonna be smooth sailing.
Anyway, I'd love to find out what happens. Keep letting us know. Good luck!!!
Is it normal to want to see my ex 5-10 years in the future?
↑ View this comment's parent
← View full post
I almost want to do that, but it's been months, and the whole breakup was a big mess of tears and anger for both of us. He did harass me on social media for most of June and July. Eventually, he confessed to wanting to hurt me emotionally.
I don't know that he would welcome me back right now.
--
IINtobeonthiswebsite
8 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
-1
-1
Well, you'll never know if you don't try! Risk it, what do you have to loose? At least you'll know, and, won't waste any more time just wondering about "what could be".
I don't like the part of him being mean on social media...I mean, I get it, but, not on social media.
My GF (and now my wiife) broke up with me for a short while in college. It was weird too, because, it was the one year we actually were to be together at school, and, as soon as I got there (she moved in early, which they allow freshman and new transfer students to do), she was already breaking up with me. It only lasted a few weeks, it seemed like an eternity.
Long story short, I was devestated, hurt and then angry too....I think there is a normal progression of emotions we go through after a breakup. I don't mean to come down on your BF, had there been social media, I think I'd have been tempted too to do the same...I dunno. I got some solace from a friend who knew the guy she left me for...he told me this dude was a real dork, a red-neck...not that there is anything wrong with being a red-neck, but, my GF (now wife) is anything BUT. I really didn't see what she saw in him, and, deep down, I think I kind of knew, give it time, she'll be back. Sure enough. One day, "knock knock knock", there she was at my door. We went through a lot of emotional stuff, she told me some things about her she had never told to anyone before...it brought us closer together.
Anyway, forgiveness is the key to any good relationship. When you do see and talk to him, that is the first thing to ask for. And, in turn, he should apologize for the way he treated you too, but, you need to understand, you broke his heart, hurt his ego. For a guy, that is really really tough, their pride gets bruised. They are actually worse than women when it comes to that.
Now, maybe he'll not forgive you, maybe he won't want to come back at all, or, maybe you'll just be platonic "friends". Then again, even if this does happen, maybe someday, he'll realize that you WERE the best thing that happened to him, and, come around...hopefully, if that is the case, you are still available, and havn't been swept off your feet by another Prince Charming!
Either way, life is far too short to wonder "what if". And, whatever pain and anguish you go through to find out if you can get back together, it is far worth it versus spending a lifetime of wondering "what if...". Don't do the "what if" game. It is torture.
The best thing that can happen is, no matter what the outcome, you will learn a TON about yourself and relationships, and be ready to handle things much differently the next time the right guy comes along, be it this one or someone else!
Believe it or not, you grow up, mature, change emotionally. All part of tthe process.
--
PinkHairedFreak
8 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Hmm I think I will see him. Should I just show up on his doorstep? Or should I send him a letter first?
--
IINtobeonthiswebsite
8 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Sorry, was off doing other posts.
A letter is a good start. But, don't expect a reply. Send the letter, give it some time, then, go show up.
Do it right away.
Be short and concise in the letter. Don't blame him for ANYTHING! Apologize, tell him how much you think it was a mistake to ever break up, that is was your fault, and that you'd like to see him again, look forward to seeing him and discussing your relationship in person. Don't tell him you plan to come see him unannounced, but, I'd at least do that if he doesn't respond. Then, you at least have a starting place for the conversation. And, I'd send it as a hand-written letter, not an email. Too easy for someone to say "I never got your email, musta gotten lost", plus, a hand-written letter is much more personal.
But, doesn't he come home at some point? Maybe you can plan to see him then, if it isn't too long from now.
As for him seeing other girls while at school. You have so little faith in him and yourself? Come one. There are other guys at home too, right? Who knows what either of you are gonna find in the future, you may not last forever, or you might. Take it one day at a time. My advice would be, if you DO get back together with him, keep the relationship on a POSITIVE note at all times. That doesn't mean you might not ever disagree, or have an argument, BUT, never leave angry....saying "I am sorry" is the BEST thing you can do in ANY relationship, not just long distance ones.
You should also let him know how you feel about him, often. Tell him you think you are lucky to have found him, how good you think you two are together, both now and in the future. You got to remind people of why you are together. Then, when you are together, find special things to do, try going someplace you have never been, or doing something you have never done. Then, later, you have things you can reminisce about. Keep a photo album to look back at on occasions. Don't be that crazy chick that keeps an elaborate scrap-book that takes hours to compile and yanks it out every time you get together, just, something simple, and, look at it together every few months, or, on a special occasion like your anniversary.
My wife and I still look at pics from when we were first together, it reminds me of how hot she was, how much fun we had, and why we are still together....so, that, when she does things that PISS ME OFF, I can remember why I fell in love with her in the first place, and, that life is full of twists in the road....not everything is gonna be smooth sailing.
Anyway, I'd love to find out what happens. Keep letting us know. Good luck!!!