I am very religious and I am all for working it out with your husband but this is not the case here. It sounds to me that your husband is abusive. If he is indeed abusive then seek help immediantly. Being abused can come in many shapes and forms. It can be mental abuse, emotional abuse and physical abuse. Neither are healthy and if someone is abusive you should not be with them. God will understand! I have grown up as a child in an abusive home and I know that people don't change... It is not that they cannot change but sometimes they don't want to or they don't choose to. Your husband needs to get some serious help with his abusive behavior. If he is abusive it is not your fault that your marriage has failed. He has even cheated on you which is adultery and even more of a reason to get a divorce. No one should be married to someone who takes advantage of them and then abuse them... Not even the most religious of people should ever have to deal with such abuse. Do not cheat on your husband, DO NOT. Get a divorce first, get to safety first and then when its all said and done if your friend is still there then date him. I know you have kids but its best you be a role model to your kids by showing them how to stick up for themselves by sticking up for your own self. Show them whats right and wrong and show them your morals. Your kids are in danger too, I know of many people who was in abusive relationships and the kids got murder as well as the mother. Don't think becuz there his kids that he won't hurt them. My own dad who was abusive would beat my mother and if he accidently hit me while hitting her he would pick me up by my shirt and sit me on a pile of clothes (i was a baby). You might not be going through that type of serious abuse but if he is threating you like that then you don't know what he has up his sleeves. Get out of that relationship now, its not healthy. Don't question if he is abusive, yes he is very abusive. He puts you down, cheats on you and theaten you. That is abuse and that is wrong. That is not love and that is not a healthy environment to raise your children in. Show your children real love by getting a divorce and meeting someone who truly cares about you and your family.
Is it normal to want to pursue this?
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I am very religious and I am all for working it out with your husband but this is not the case here. It sounds to me that your husband is abusive. If he is indeed abusive then seek help immediantly. Being abused can come in many shapes and forms. It can be mental abuse, emotional abuse and physical abuse. Neither are healthy and if someone is abusive you should not be with them. God will understand! I have grown up as a child in an abusive home and I know that people don't change... It is not that they cannot change but sometimes they don't want to or they don't choose to. Your husband needs to get some serious help with his abusive behavior. If he is abusive it is not your fault that your marriage has failed. He has even cheated on you which is adultery and even more of a reason to get a divorce. No one should be married to someone who takes advantage of them and then abuse them... Not even the most religious of people should ever have to deal with such abuse. Do not cheat on your husband, DO NOT. Get a divorce first, get to safety first and then when its all said and done if your friend is still there then date him. I know you have kids but its best you be a role model to your kids by showing them how to stick up for themselves by sticking up for your own self. Show them whats right and wrong and show them your morals. Your kids are in danger too, I know of many people who was in abusive relationships and the kids got murder as well as the mother. Don't think becuz there his kids that he won't hurt them. My own dad who was abusive would beat my mother and if he accidently hit me while hitting her he would pick me up by my shirt and sit me on a pile of clothes (i was a baby). You might not be going through that type of serious abuse but if he is threating you like that then you don't know what he has up his sleeves. Get out of that relationship now, its not healthy. Don't question if he is abusive, yes he is very abusive. He puts you down, cheats on you and theaten you. That is abuse and that is wrong. That is not love and that is not a healthy environment to raise your children in. Show your children real love by getting a divorce and meeting someone who truly cares about you and your family.