Is it normal to want to pursue this?

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  • It's normal but you're downgrading yourself to your husband level.Best is divorce first then start something new.Having unfaithful father isn't a good role for kids anyway.

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    • I know but I cant leave,he'll find me!He's always said that if I left God help me. I've managed to keep his indiscretions from the kids for now,they have no idea how their father treats me but I know that if I left he would find me and make anyone thats with me leave. He pursued me for ages and now he's got me he doesn't want me,I dont get it as he doesnt want anyone else to have me either,dont know how much longer I can hold on. My kids have become my life but they adore him,he may be a useless husband but he's a fantastic Dad. So I suppose my best bet is to let him carry on with his affairs and just put up with it. Thanks for the advice though x

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      • It sounds a bit like you need a divorce AND a restraining order.

        "He's always said that if I left God help me."

        That's definitely a red flag.

        Think of it from a different perspective. His cheating is obviously making you unhappy? If so, that unhappiness is probably affecting your ability to parent your children effectively. He may very well be a good father, but you have to consider the negative effects as well.

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