Is it normal to want to marry 2 people at the same time?

I am in a poly relationship. I love them bothe equally, and i want to marry them

Voting Results
70% Normal
Based on 40 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • 1WeirdGuy

    Thats double the nagging. Just pay for a hooker.

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    • LloydAsher

      Saw a poly marriage on tv. Idk how the guy puts up with 4 women nagging. Every single woman has their own nagging type. Cant escape that.

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    • powertothepeople

      That is sexism and the correct term is sex worker.

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      • Iambillythemenacetosociety

        Hooker is another word for sex worker, dumbass.

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      • 1WeirdGuy

        I wanna sex the other sex if shes sexy, even if thats sexism.

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        • powertothepeople

          What you're saying is really problematic. Check your privilege

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          • 1WeirdGuy

            Is it true only ugly girls get offended about silly stuff? If you're actually good lookin you're too busy getting pursued by doctors and stuff right? Its always upper middleclass tubby white chics complaining

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            • powertothepeople

              omg

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  • Somenormie

    I honestly prefer to marry 1 person.

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  • powertothepeople

    Polyamory is natural and beautiful!

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  • olderdude-xx

    This time I'm going to address your situation from two other angles that are very important.

    1) Which one is the right person to marry - if you marry either of them.

    2) Have you talked to both of these woman about being poly. Do they know? Do they know about the other? Have they met?

    So which is potentially the right person to marry? Perhaps both, perhaps one, perhaps none.

    Here is a very important exercise to do with each Lady.

    Sit down and each of you write out 50 - 100 dreams and goals in life... Include both simple material things (a new set of tires for the car) and big dreams along with how you want to live (becoming financially independent, traveling around the world, climbing Mt Everest, Live "someplace" with a house "with key major features", etc) - and pick ones that are specific you personally.

    Then each of you need to share your lists with each other... and see if you can find some big dreams and goals that you share and can work on achieving together.

    If you have no such goals in common. I recommend that you do not marry as you have no real purpose behind the marriage.

    If only one has shared common goals... I recommend that you marry that one. The other can be a friend with benefits on the side - assuming your wife knows and agrees to that up front.

    If both of them have common shared goals with you and they know about each other, then see if there are several common big dreams and goals that all 3 of you have. That's key to make a 3some work long term.

    If there are no shared common big dreams and goals.... then you need to pick the one who best matches your big dreams and goals.

    Now for Part 2: Any long term successful poly relationship requires all parties to know about the other(s) up front, and agree to whatever rules you develop to make it work.

    Even if you are not looking for a poly relationship - you should tell both Ladies about each other and your delemna on at this point wanting to marry both. Most ladies who care about you and have lived some life will understand... and allow you room to sort out which one (if not both) you wish to continue with in a primary relationship.

    If you develop a long term active poly relationship you will need rules on how it works (free for alls never work long term).

    I suggest that you read the book: "More Than Two" by: Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert to learn all the common issues and a variety of rule possibilities involved in having an open and honest poly relationship with multiple partners.

    In my case My wife and I jointly developed the rules for other partners (which took months for us to work out everything - including what if there are other children).

    I wish you the best with this...

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    • WilburHusky

      I'm in a relationship with two men, not two women. Thanks for the advice, though

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      • olderdude-xx

        My apologies.

        I hope at least some of my other advice is pertinent to your situation. There are so many different variations of poly interest and relationships.

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    • TheNewNumberTwo

      Fucking lawl everything about this comment screams “boomer.”

      The automatic assumption that OP was obviously talking about two women is the icing on the cake.

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  • SwejSag

    Are you bull shitting us with this shit? Of course it's not normal, it's sick . The whole fucking human race should be embarrassed.

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  • nikkdikk

    Everyone should state whether they're pro poly or not b4 you consider their heretics. Have your marriage in another country for the double marriage and then return to the states. Then be honest with people when you say yup my wives.

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  • Iambillythemenacetosociety

    Gross.

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  • Holzman_67

    I’m in a low poly relationship, it’s low resolution so we fight alot

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  • YE

    I would say it's normal. From my own personal experience, at some stage in my life I was faced with a dilemma of having to choose between marrying myself and marrying another person. It was tough, I wanted to marry both me and that person. But then they made it clear to me that it wouldn't work out, so I was forced to painfully break up with them.

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  • Tinybird

    yes. I'm married to 2 invisible people.

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  • olderdude-xx

    It's normal for you, and for me too (I really understand your situation). Studies show About 5% of the population is poly to the point of wanting to live with more than one partner (and at least 20% of people have tried some form of poly relationship in their lives).

    The following site may assist you (especially the legal section)

    http://www.polyamorysociety.org/

    To continue my comments.

    Unfortunately, the current laws of the United States does not allow dual marriage. You can either marry none, marry one with the other as a dedicated partner, or move to one of the countries that allow poly marriages (I was not interested in moving to the countries I know allow it).

    There has been some discussion that it may be possible that a future law change in various States to allow poly marriages may be coming down the road. But, that may be decades coming, if ever.

    In my case I needed to legally marry one to make her immigration into the USA legal. We have rules on how it works - and she has a say on my other partners (does she believe they are suitable for me - and at this point I only life with my wife - but am free to date and even do overnights with other long term partners).

    I have found an advantage in not being married as while I tend to long term relationships (7-14 years is most typical) the fact is that several of my previous partners moved on due to changes in their life's path (one wanted to become a minister - and did and has focuses on youth ministry, anothers career path required her to move about 6 hours away.

    I wish you the best with this; and pm me if you want to talk more privately.

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  • Curiouskitten444

    Why marriage? Either way yes it's normal to me but the majority of the population doesn't get it/ it makes them angry.

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