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I never lick her, but I feel like urge to lick her, as if to groom her. I feel like I wanna show her I love her in a language she'll understand.
Nope, you don't need a mouth full of cat hair. Search Google, and YouTube for something called slow blink if you want to speak a cat's language!
Look it up, it fa real, yo! The slow blink with cats is definitely a thing!
Check out what Rose said above about slow blinking. Also, if you can roll r's, teach yourself to purr when spending time with them.
As far as grooming goes, you can get textured gloves for that, or even just a nice brush. If that's not weird enough for you, and you happen to grow facial hair, you also have the option of using facial stubble. Looks dumb, but cats like it.
Hell no that not normal. There’s a tv show with people that have strange addictions called “Strange Addictions”. This lady was addicted to licking her cat and eating and swallowing the cat hair for years.
We used to have this calico cat named Rosie. Few teeth, no claws, older than dirt, and hissed at everyone as she walked around. Just a shitty attitude.
Sometimes i would pick her up when she hissed, I would say, "Rosie! That's a mean and hateful kitty cat! Someone needs a kiss!" Then I would lick her nose. She would give me this look that looked either like a snake ready to strike or just, well if looks could kill.