Is it normal to want to leave this abuse?

49% Normal
10 Comments

I have been with the same man for 12 yrs., and all thru our relationship he has been jealous, controlling, abusive and sexually deviant in behavior. I have had more occasions then I'd like to admit where I am constantly being argued with over sex (at least every 2 days) my husband feels that if we don't have sex everyday or every other, I don't love him, or that I'm cheating. His constant jealousy has drove everyone away from us because he doesn't trust anyone out of fear they are going to sleep with me (male or female, even family members) He forces me to have sex even though I don't want to, when I'm sick, a broken bone in my back, on my period, etc. He uses guilt to pressure me to do it, we also have 4 kids aged 1-10, he has hit my kids for defending me and threatend to kill all of us many times, he even poured gas all over porch and tried setting it on fire laughing as I was packing my kids to leave, he chased me and my kids in the middle of the night all over town when I'm 7 months pregnant, he had a hammer and beat on my car and tried running us off the road. his worst act was choking me while last pregnant and caused my baby to have a stroke and be born with blood on the brain. with all of this, he blames me. he claims he doesn't trust me becuase I gave a male friend of his a ride to the mall in the begining of our relationship. i know alot of you will be harsh and call me stupid, I have recently had him arrested and have a restraining order, but he violates it every minute. I am disabled and don't work, he wouldn't let me anyway, and he holds money over my head, today I found a box of bullets, and he's begging to come back or else, can anyone help me?

Voting Results
49% Normal
Based on 59 votes (29 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Curious2know
    13 years ago

    Yes. Stay safe and protect your children. Try to get proof. An mp3 player or a phone all have a recording function. That should be enough. Your children are also witnesses (though maybe you choose not to have them involved) I was in an abusive situation for a few years it never got that bad, but I know how you feel... Stuck and trapped. But, please trust me, as soon as you are clear from him you will have a great life and be able to start over, even though it is hard. Ask for help. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I was like that. As soon as I started asking everyone helped me. ASK everyone and anyone for help and you will find people who will take care of you.

    I pray everything will work out.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    I am so sorry. Plz do everything u can to stay safe an ur children. Good luck. Stay with familyand let the police know of everything.

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  • genro
    14 years ago

    I'm very concerned about you...do you have a family member or close friend you could reconnect with and stay with? You are not stupid just absused and drained...don't knw whr u live but check with your local county for help..California we have WEAVE..please check out ur counties help centers for women trying to escape abusive relationship..u and ur kids deserve to be loved not scared

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  • browndoll
    14 years ago

    You have to stay away from him. Take him to court for child support money and try to find a new job..

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  • Proudfear
    14 years ago

    yes if he's like that call the police,secretly video tape some of thees instants where he violates it and have him arrested or he will probably never stop,dont kill him itll end badly(u said u found bullets figured it would be a thought) even after u get him arrested he trys this again just keep calling the police

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  • Moonbow
    11 years ago

    If you're serious about wanting "out" of this situation or wanting the asshole to change, get some birth control pills or estrogen (hormone replacement therapy) tablets and slip one into his food every day. He will stop demanding sex every day and will become calmer and easier to live with.

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  • WildUtopia
    12 years ago

    EXTREMELY NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!! Go for what you believe in. And don't feel scared to tell someone close to you or trusting of you. It always helps to have support. I had an abusive dad Pervy too and it's never good for children to believe it's okay to be abused. Luckily i was strong but..you need to show your children that you recognize his unrighteous behavior. When they see you strong, they'll feel like they have the ability to change and be strong too. Never lose hope okay. None of it was your fault. It was just...a mistake or whatever you want to call it. But your children are definitely not mistakes, and I have faith they'll be strong about this, I believe in them, and I believe in you too :) ^_^

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  • Treez
    12 years ago

    Ugh

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Wow thts bad ur" hubby " winds like a soceopath I sugest sending ur kids to a frnds house for a few nights whail u call the cops on him

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  • LittleLover
    13 years ago

    As genro said you should go to a close friend/ family member's house and notify the police and they should take care of it.

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