Is it normal to want to kill everyone?

I'm 21 and I feel so trapped at home and in college. I'm almost done with an AA and it's the worst degree you can get because of the jobs I found for it are only $12 an hour. I just want to go into a health care vocation so I can get the hell out.

My brother doesn't show respect and I think about knocking him outlet with a frying pan everyday. He always wants me to help him with his son but when I need help he acts funny. I would buy him and my nephew food but when I want food, "he didn't get paid". He always insults my singing, my cooking, everything about me. Despite me driving him to practice one his car was broken one day driving him to the bus station to go to a UFC fight out of town and being supportive of him.

When I was 17 my brother used to always borrow money from me. I used to have to hide it from him because he would say oh you don't have kids so you have it lucky. I was trying to save up for things I wanted to buy for myself like dance lessons. I didn't get your stupid girlfriend pregnant. My mom would borrow for me too to gamble and try to make more money.

The story of my dad is a little different. He completely supports me financially but I always have to consult him about every small decision I want to make regarding money. And it makes me feel so small. My car is broken down and I wanted to tell it to the shop and he said next week because I'm not going to be home and I told him you don't have to be home. But he doesn't care. Every time we're out and he's with his friends and colleagues he always talks about how he wanted me to pursue nursing even though I didn't. And that's always the first thing that comes out of his mouth. I've been told him what I want to pursue. He wants me to get a masters in nursing all I want is a job with enough money for now so I can pursue what I really want which is singing.

I've decided I'm either going to do nursing or Dentistry I'm leaning more on dentist hygiene. I just want to move out at this point because I feel trapped. I'm almost done with my AA. I know 12 an hour wouldn't be good for rent. Because my ex lived in a 1K apartment with his cousin and he was always hungry and tired. And he got sick once a month.

I feel so angry like I did last year I keep throwing things and wanting to break walls. If I had money I would smoke a lot of weed again. My kitten is the only person in the house to give me Comfort.

I would get a bachelor's one day just to make my dad proud but right now I want to do my own thing period after I get a good medical job, I feel like I'll finally be free.

I hope I don't sound confusing in this post basically I want to either become a dental hygienist or an LPN. Then I would get my own place and pursue music. If music fails then I would get into a more practical job again.

I'm starting to get depressed again. I feel like I wasted three years trying to get an associates that is basically useless. My family exacerbates it.