Definitely not normal. Not saying you're crazy or anything, but you should probably see a psychoanalyst so they can analyze your thoughts on a professional level, and refer you to some other treatment, which would most-likely just be to see a psychologist.
Is it normal to want to hurt the one I care most about?
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Definitely not normal. Not saying you're crazy or anything, but you should probably see a psychoanalyst so they can analyze your thoughts on a professional level, and refer you to some other treatment, which would most-likely just be to see a psychologist.