Is it normal to want to do this to my cousin?

I want to shag my cousin on her wedding day as well as her two bride maids
I've been jerking off since I thought off the idea and a couple of weeks ago my cousin left the door unlocked and there she was in the shower with a 4 inch dildo moaning so loud she didn't even hear me watching her and me having a wank then as she got out the shower my jizzed went all over her face!
It's been awkward ever since pls help being as I'm usher.