Is it normal to want my step dad after he used to molest me?

Your father raped you as a child. I have spoken to rape victims before and they claim to hate it when its happening but later enjoy such acts. However this is not normal at all. I think you are dealing with the trauma of being raped and at the same time hormonal changes and sexual desire. I believe since that was your first sexual experience your mind is probobly jumping straight to that. However this is not a good thing, report this bastard because he needs to be arrested. Here is what you need to do. GO TO THERAPY. You need to talk to someone so you can deal with this issue. I don't think your brain is probobly processing it correctly at this time. You seem very confused about your emotions right now and I think a therapist would honestly be the best help for you. A lot of times when things like this happen to people the brain is not always sure how to deal with it. Your brain has probobly associated sex and sexual desire with your father since that is the most memorable sexual experience you have. Now if it was harmful sex or positive sex your brain seems to have associated them. Do not sleep with him AGAIN! Stay away from him, and see a therapist, and please report this man so he cant do this shit to anyone else!