Lady, I didn't tell him that he was a fuck up. What kind of parent does that? Are you assuming he is a fuck up from what i said? Because you have to be. Come on. I know I didn't say that I think or tell him that he is fuck up. He's my son for Christ sakes, do you talk to your kids like that?
I just want him to get a fucking life outside of my house.
Perhaps you should reread what you wrote about him then. Since this IS how you are talking about him.
You started off comparing him to everyone else. How everyone else "made something of themselves".
Then you go on to say about how he does nothing with his life.
Perhaps now's the time to really review what you say about him in public - and perhaps what you say to his face. Since you don't want people thinking that you call him a fuckup.
And what about the enabling. You allow him to drink and smoke pot in your house and game all day long. Then you wonder why he has no ambition?
I seriously fail to see where I called him a fuck up. All of my kids moved out, it's not like they are doing nothing with their lives, it's just him that it living here. I have 3 others kids. I felt the need to mention them. If you're going to say that I am comparing them to him, then you're really putting words in my mouth, here.
If you're going to grill me for the way that I run my household, you're more than welcome too, but I never "allowed" him to do anything, I just don't know how I feel about getting Johnny Law involved.
1) I don't have to put words into your mouth. Not when quoting you worked so well already.
Sure sure, it's a "fact" that they made something of themselves. Then you describe him... and you're somehow NOT comparing them? Why even mention how successful the others are if you're not trying to compare their success to his lack of it?
2) If he has no job... where exactly is he getting the money for pot and games? Neither falls from the sky for free.
And I never said you had to get the law involved... but since you want him to stop you might want to consider... stop letting him have access to funds to buy either.
Perhaps consider taking all of it away and telling him he has to earn it back by getting a job.
Or as I suggested, giving him the ultimatum of "move out".
He is getting his money from an inheritance he got from my father. Originally it was for college and that's what he used it for but when he dropped out he started spending it on shit and I couldn't touch it, it was his bank account.
It's not like my love for my children hinges on their success but when they do become successful I am very proud of them. My younger son was a dopehead living in a house full of dopeheads and working as a convenience store clerk before he went back to school and got his trade certificates. Didn't make me any less happy with him, he EARNED that money that he spent on dope.
I just want this kid the fuck out of my house and doing something with his life. In no universe would I consider partying at night and playing video games all day "doing something" with his life.
If you want him out you're not going to get him out by wishing him out.
It's not easy but sometimes you have to tell someone "Move out". I mean it's not like they can't visit or something like that.
I mean really... you say you don't want the law involved but... if he's doing drugs that might happen anyway.
The trick is making him want the same thing you want. And trying to beg and plead hasn't worked yet so... perhaps something opposite might be what's required.
Might want to consider a therapist or counselor for advice on how to get him off the drugs and out. So that he's not draining you - if not of money then of energy.
Is it normal to want my son OUT OF THE HOUSE!?
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Lady, I didn't tell him that he was a fuck up. What kind of parent does that? Are you assuming he is a fuck up from what i said? Because you have to be. Come on. I know I didn't say that I think or tell him that he is fuck up. He's my son for Christ sakes, do you talk to your kids like that?
I just want him to get a fucking life outside of my house.
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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
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"do you talk to your kids like that?"
Perhaps you should reread what you wrote about him then. Since this IS how you are talking about him.
You started off comparing him to everyone else. How everyone else "made something of themselves".
Then you go on to say about how he does nothing with his life.
Perhaps now's the time to really review what you say about him in public - and perhaps what you say to his face. Since you don't want people thinking that you call him a fuckup.
And what about the enabling. You allow him to drink and smoke pot in your house and game all day long. Then you wonder why he has no ambition?
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Anonymous Post Author
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I seriously fail to see where I called him a fuck up. All of my kids moved out, it's not like they are doing nothing with their lives, it's just him that it living here. I have 3 others kids. I felt the need to mention them. If you're going to say that I am comparing them to him, then you're really putting words in my mouth, here.
If you're going to grill me for the way that I run my household, you're more than welcome too, but I never "allowed" him to do anything, I just don't know how I feel about getting Johnny Law involved.
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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
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1) I don't have to put words into your mouth. Not when quoting you worked so well already.
Sure sure, it's a "fact" that they made something of themselves. Then you describe him... and you're somehow NOT comparing them? Why even mention how successful the others are if you're not trying to compare their success to his lack of it?
2) If he has no job... where exactly is he getting the money for pot and games? Neither falls from the sky for free.
And I never said you had to get the law involved... but since you want him to stop you might want to consider... stop letting him have access to funds to buy either.
Perhaps consider taking all of it away and telling him he has to earn it back by getting a job.
Or as I suggested, giving him the ultimatum of "move out".
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Anonymous Post Author
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He is getting his money from an inheritance he got from my father. Originally it was for college and that's what he used it for but when he dropped out he started spending it on shit and I couldn't touch it, it was his bank account.
It's not like my love for my children hinges on their success but when they do become successful I am very proud of them. My younger son was a dopehead living in a house full of dopeheads and working as a convenience store clerk before he went back to school and got his trade certificates. Didn't make me any less happy with him, he EARNED that money that he spent on dope.
I just want this kid the fuck out of my house and doing something with his life. In no universe would I consider partying at night and playing video games all day "doing something" with his life.
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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
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If you want him out you're not going to get him out by wishing him out.
It's not easy but sometimes you have to tell someone "Move out". I mean it's not like they can't visit or something like that.
I mean really... you say you don't want the law involved but... if he's doing drugs that might happen anyway.
The trick is making him want the same thing you want. And trying to beg and plead hasn't worked yet so... perhaps something opposite might be what's required.
Might want to consider a therapist or counselor for advice on how to get him off the drugs and out. So that he's not draining you - if not of money then of energy.