I completely sympathise with you as I have seen this time and time again. The problem with you enabling him is that he is relying on you growing older and weaker. You are perhaps even now, less physically strong than him so you need to be more clever.
As he's your son, you don't want him to have a criminal record for smoking pot etc but it is disrespectful for him to do it in your home. He has not 'earned' the right to live there and eat your food etc. I assume your other children have spoken to him but he's treating all of your concerns as a big joke.
My own son of 15yo is obsessed with these stupid games but I have now discovered the switch to turn off the upstairs ring main for all the electric sockets :o) Oops some faulty gadget has tripped the electric ;o) You really need to make his life uncomfortable eg. no ready food available in the fridge (put one for yourselves in the shed/garage), take away any excess TVs (so he has to sit and watch what you are watching), take money off him for his keep, make his friends UNwelcome by telling them to GET OUT!!! If he doesn't like this, he can always leave with them.
I think you need to find the cheapest rental you can and offer to pay the rent on it (without a time limit), get him into it, and after say 6 months tell him you can't afford to keep paying it - so he'll have to get a job. Once out of the house he won't want to come back to your 'petty' rules and ways. The first step is to get him out, then you're practically home free - as long as you don't ever let him move back in!!
You really need to put your foot down as you are doing him no favours.
He has it far too easy and you are not helping him to make it in society. Explain to him that you really do mean that you want him to leave. It is about time that you and your wife had some time to yourselves and he is just being selfish and inconsiderate.
Out of sight is out of mind, so he may be playing daft games all day but at least not in front of you, aggravating you and your wife.
I just watched a programme last night where the 18yo son killed the parents coz they wouldn't give him all their money. Hard to believe but I think that yours thinks that if he's the last one in the house, he gets to keep everything when you two pass on. I know my youngest brother thinks like this - he's 30+.
Is it normal to want my son OUT OF THE HOUSE!?
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I completely sympathise with you as I have seen this time and time again. The problem with you enabling him is that he is relying on you growing older and weaker. You are perhaps even now, less physically strong than him so you need to be more clever.
As he's your son, you don't want him to have a criminal record for smoking pot etc but it is disrespectful for him to do it in your home. He has not 'earned' the right to live there and eat your food etc. I assume your other children have spoken to him but he's treating all of your concerns as a big joke.
My own son of 15yo is obsessed with these stupid games but I have now discovered the switch to turn off the upstairs ring main for all the electric sockets :o) Oops some faulty gadget has tripped the electric ;o) You really need to make his life uncomfortable eg. no ready food available in the fridge (put one for yourselves in the shed/garage), take away any excess TVs (so he has to sit and watch what you are watching), take money off him for his keep, make his friends UNwelcome by telling them to GET OUT!!! If he doesn't like this, he can always leave with them.
I think you need to find the cheapest rental you can and offer to pay the rent on it (without a time limit), get him into it, and after say 6 months tell him you can't afford to keep paying it - so he'll have to get a job. Once out of the house he won't want to come back to your 'petty' rules and ways. The first step is to get him out, then you're practically home free - as long as you don't ever let him move back in!!
You really need to put your foot down as you are doing him no favours.
He has it far too easy and you are not helping him to make it in society. Explain to him that you really do mean that you want him to leave. It is about time that you and your wife had some time to yourselves and he is just being selfish and inconsiderate.
Out of sight is out of mind, so he may be playing daft games all day but at least not in front of you, aggravating you and your wife.
I just watched a programme last night where the 18yo son killed the parents coz they wouldn't give him all their money. Hard to believe but I think that yours thinks that if he's the last one in the house, he gets to keep everything when you two pass on. I know my youngest brother thinks like this - he's 30+.