Is it normal to use your son?

I think this is a medical condition called "being a total bitch to your son because you can't stand him growing up and have serious psychologicsl issues". I wouldn't talk to her again.

Find that well in Sparta. Kick her in it. Make it a postcard.

I lived his life only I'd to raise 4 younger siblings for my rotten hateful mother!! When I got a student grant she insisted I pay all her utilities - even though I had moved out. My husband of 22+ years is a strong person and so she hates him! He is also the black sheep of his family as his mother only likes her daughters - which is great coz she doesn't visit!

I know exactly how to handle this bitch!! But some of this may be hard to do as you're young and female. Most young females want to rant and rave but I've learnt from my experience of over 20+ years ;o)

1. NEVER ever mention her name - at home or to other family members! Not just so that you don't offend your bf, or drag up old memories for him, or come across as nasty too, but so that you don't make her important in your lives!

2. Ignore her calls completely.

3. If she does happen to catch you on the phone, answer by saying 'Yes?' not 'hello' - that puts her off guard and makes her tell you straight away what she wants. Cut her short with, "Have to go."

4. In a phone conversation, only answer her with yes or no. Do not get into a discussion of why or what, or use any minimal encouragers such as hmmm or uhuh etc - even if it leaves long silences. (My mother in law hasn't rang me house in 3 years coz I did this).

5. Tell her your bf is not in and if she asks why you didn't tell him she called before, just say you forgot :o) She can't abuse you, you're not her child!

6. Get your bf to put her on a special tune on his phone so he knows who it is and doesn't answer. He should say his phone is playing up and texts aren't getting through if any other family members ask him ;o)

This almost goes against the grain coz I have a teenage son who I love dearly but I would NEVER treat him like that and would expect to be ostracised if I did.

It's very hard for him to stand up for himself after years of being browbeaten, also he has deep loyalties as he's seen what she's had to do to raise him and his sister. My gran used to say, "Never go looking for trouble, it will find you" so I've taken this to the nth degree. We NEVER initiate contact with our mums, we don't send birthday cards (they don't send me us either) or even Christmas cards / presents. Let her get on with her life and you two get on with yours!! Maybe buy the 10 yo something small though!?

Do your best to protect him from this bitch and you two will live happily ever after coz he will admire your strength.

Remember too, that the less he does, the more he will be thought of!! She will appreciate him more when she doesn't see or hear from him.

Come back to me if you need any more little tricks to handle this selfish bitch!!

Good luck to you both!

^ dramatic much?

Up until I read how he found the balls to move in with you and put your relationship first, my first inclination was to tell you run like the wind from this mama's boy....the majority of these types are brainwashed by their mothers (from hell) and never change....but damn you found yourself one that seems to have found his cojones and got his priorities straight and put his life first....girl you are luckier than hell...ignoring her is an effective tactic....I applaud you both for limiting communication...his mother needs to be re-trained to treat him with respecxt and not as her slave (or her boyfriend or her husband) and stop asking him to rescue her (she is responsible for her own damn life)...if she doesn't respond to re-training, he might need to take the next step and limit his communication with her to major holidays....seriously....the next step would be to cease all communication...it can be done...family or non-family, toxic people must be cut off completely...some people change, but most don't, and the ones that don't change will never get it, and need to be cut off....Wishing you all the best!

Why not throw a fuck into the Mother as well?

the guy above me is awesome.

hope i made you smile :)

kill them. plan the murder together, it'll bring you closer and then once they're dead you can move on and he'll be more confident because of the power he held over those bitches while they died. :)

this is normal, but i dont like you.

Normal, but not very nice.

I think everyone has in-laws that are insufferable. As an adult, you don't have to put up with it because you have your own place and control who comes and goes in your life.

Once you are an adult and don't live at home, it's not unreasonable to cut off ties with those family members who are abusive. It doesn't mean you don't ever speak to them again, but you don't have to include them in your regular daily life.

If your boyfriend has his own job, there's no reason for him to stay at home, especially if he's being dumped on.

Nice stories and thank you all for the advice :)

I have a tear in my eyes*sniff*this is the most sad story ive ever heard, YOU GUYS DESERVE TO HAVE THE BEST RELATIINSHIP EVER AFTER WHAT YOUVE BEEN THROUGH i jope you have a great life and to be happy*sniff*

Stay away from her.

My mom is very similar and can't think of anyone but herself, don't let him drop what he's doing to assist her but don't totally ignore her either.

good story, i think he is doing the right thing distancing himself from mother, i feel for the child tho and hope he doesnt break all contact with her. the kid loves him and will only know what she lost when he is gone. he has given her nice memories and family, the only thing missing is her good behaviour and that is the easy one to fix, good luck to u both u sound kind

I think you BF should be an adult and make an adult decision ie tell his mum to back off. At this rate u guys r going to break up be he will forever be alone. So help him!

My friend had a similar situation, but she married the guy. The mother-in-law played quite a role in how short their marriage lasted. Your boyfriend is in a difficult position, one that will not go away even if he ignores his mother. She is a part of who he is and who he has become. If he is a wonderful person, support him and love him, but know what you are getting into.