I think the best view is putting the family as a whole first. It's not so black and white as what suits children best or partner best is going to be best for the whole family unit.
Also, family put first takes into account what is best for you personally. A lot of parents (particularly mothers, but fathers fall into this, too) of not taking their own needs into account, and that has a negative affect on the family.
If you consider everyone's needs, and try to balance how that fits in with the rest of the family as best as possible, that is what is best for the family unit as a whole. That's what makes sense to me, anyway.
IIN to think children first is a fallacy
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I think the best view is putting the family as a whole first. It's not so black and white as what suits children best or partner best is going to be best for the whole family unit.
Also, family put first takes into account what is best for you personally. A lot of parents (particularly mothers, but fathers fall into this, too) of not taking their own needs into account, and that has a negative affect on the family.
If you consider everyone's needs, and try to balance how that fits in with the rest of the family as best as possible, that is what is best for the family unit as a whole. That's what makes sense to me, anyway.