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I want to start a Fart's Rights Group and attack the makers of anti-fart pills. It's fart abortions!! Those activated charcoal fart stifling cushions are fart murderers, we must ban partial-birth fart abortions!! Farts have the right to be set free and enjoyed as they were meant to be.
Will you join the Fight for Farts?
Flatulence, how dear, how kind it is
To leave my body with such charm and poise
It's rumbl'ng gases delight all my senses
Whilst my ears enjoy it's jovial noise
The smell is not a stench but yet a sweet
Of butterscotch and candies so adored
Maybe they are good enough to eat
And time and time again I do implore
For farts! For farts! How I admire thou
How have you blessed me with all your grace
And not asked that I take a bow
I promise that my shits will not replace
Nor will they substitute for all your wonder
My sullen cheeks could never hold you under
*Bows down on the ground wearing a gas mask*
Sir Farticus, thou must relaxeth thouself and put an endeth to the endless wave of flatulence that rains daily on thy kingdom. I come from lands afar and bow down before you as it was thou's inhabitants who asketh it of thee. Your people do not want a war but if it comes down to it, a war they will fight for. Your reply is expected before the stroke of nooneth.
*Gets of ground in a fashionable manner and strides toward door. Open's door and leaves*