Is it normal to think about killing in greusome ways?

Like
Ive done some rps
In which I play this serial killer rapist.
and I mean I get into it
It kinda turns me on

this is somthing I wrote

"Jessie seized the women by her throat pining her in place
the womens eyes were bulging out of her head and as making an amusing sputtering gasping noise
as her hands scrabbled feebly in the pool of blood surrounding them.
He knelt down over top of her a wide grin plastered on his face as he watched her panic

he dung his finger nails into the skin of her neck pinching the skin till it broke
her skin was slippery with blood

He cut her shirt off with his knife and pressed the tip to her soft belly skin
pressing down and drawing it down her stomach
blood rising in another pool that came from the gaping slash in her belly
he pressed his hand into the center of it feeling the warm fresh blood soak it
and he shuddered and gave a satisfied moan.

he picked his knife back up and thrust it up ,under and through her jaw line and the knife tip could be seen through her gapeing mouth"

and tbh im a pretty chill guy, Its impossible for me to hurt people irl
and I dont get angry very easily and when i do I just kinda swallow it and ignore whoever pissed me off
Just because its not worth it

I mean, I can Imagine doing things like i wrote
But I would never do them