Is it normal to think about death

I've thought about death and dying since I was 7 years old. I've seen dead animals dead people ,I have seen friends of mine in there coffins. I just now turned 38 , I have what maybe 42 years left theyll go by fast , I look at everyone from babies to the elderly they'll all grow old or soon will die. I have depression and anxiety along with a very jacked up phobia. I nearly get mentally crippled from what I think ,but I fight , I have done some bad sinful things in my life the kind of thing's that make me terrified about going to hell ,yes I am a christian . I have searched for answers from studies about Near death experiences to what other races and cultures believe about the after life its all interesting but not much peace from it.All I ask is when I die I go in my sleep. Oh one thing more we don't know what will happen in the future shoot we don't even know if the earth will still exist next week meaning anything can happen what makes any of us think we'll even be that person 20 to 50 years from now on some rocking chair old and crippled ?. we can go at anytime. Either hope to go in your sleep or go quietly awake.yes you will be terrified I'm gonna be scared out of my mind, just be prepared for it the best way you can . if I'm awake I'm gonna get my boys to bring me some booze Go out drunk as heck. I just hope God laughs about it and don't get mad.

I'm a 36 year old father of four and evidently, not as big of a sissy as I've always assumed I was before realizing so many other intelligent people have similar problems. Like most of you, I'll often find myself being consumed by thoughts of death and more-so a fear of the unknown. If I'm alone and allow myself to dwell on it, I can quickly sink into a panic attack, while little else in this world can rattle me. It gets so bad that I have to deliberately think about something else. Worst is when I'm really enjoying life with my kids in some terrific moments and then I fear losing all of it - for eternity... Seems like a cruel joke (being given life that is) but suppose you could think of it as an amazing gift too. What's supposed to make you feel better often makes me feel worse - like how when you go to sleep, you do so peacefully and are not guaranteed you'll wake up, yet you always have so you should think of death similarly - try not worry and just convince yourself you'll wake up. Or even better - when people tell you to think about the eternity that existed prior to your birth - which quite frankly just depresses me more :) It's the raw intensity of this fear that actually drives me away from any real capacity for faith in God - because I clearly see in these moments the desperate need/motive/desire to create and believe in an afterlife. I'm sure that we as a race have had this primal fear from the moment we were capable of contemplating such things. However - this doesn't mean that there isn't something after we die because I think everyone should be open to that possibility. In fact, for you scientists out there, remember that a requirement for scientific laws is that they hold open the possibility that they could be wrong. And given the evidence of intelligent design behind the universe (e.g. ratio of phi found throughout the earth and our own galaxy among many other commonalities), in addition to the fact that if our universe were to have expanded one millionth of a second faster than it did, grey matter/gravity would not have been strong enough to hold it together and form galaxies/stars/planets. Conversely, had it expanded one millionth of a second slower, the same forces would have been to great and it would have collapsed back upon itself. Pretty lucky I'd say! So who knows?! No one can prove it, but even science has it's limits!
I guess what I really want is to know that I'm special - more than a blink in the eye of eternity. But I don't want that being the reason I blindly believe in something I can only say at this point that I'm open to acknowledging its potential, and desperately hoping for its reality. One thing we should all take solace in is that were all in it together. I think sites like this where people can relate and share our deepest fears and talk about what really matters, along with the love of family and friends, is what makes life worth living - regardless of an afterlife.

i think about death as well

i think its the opposite of suicidal, i for one do not believe in the afterlife and god and all that stuff, however, i do believe that after we die, we begin a new life as another person, or animal, lol it sounds stupid i know, the best way is to enjoy life and live in the moment, dont waste it thinking about death, have fun, otherwise, lifes a bitch and then you die.

You may be suicidal. You may want to explore this with a professional?