Is it normal to think a guy you've been with is a pick up artist?

Me and my bf split up about 2 months ago. Recently I met a guy I liked, it was in the last week of university so we had a little fling, he was going on placement for a year n we only had a week together so it wasnt serious at all, but he was lovely and made me feel great. We slept together of course n I felt fine about it (which I didnt think I would, having recently come out of aserious relationship).
So far so good right? So what bugs me about this guy, is a few days ago I was browsing the internet randomly n I started reading this pick up guide for men.It was a detailed description of exactly how to seduce a woman, down to what to say, when to touch her etc, when to introduce the idea of sex, when to back down..what to do in bed, I mean it was a step by step guide from meeting to going on a date to banging. Now I'm not even kidding, it was like the freakin story of our affair! Ovc some things were different like exactly what he said, and where we were, but it was really freakily similar. And that was the thing about this guy..he was like perfect, everything he said and the way he made you feel, at times it made me feel almost uncomfortable because he was like some kind of romantic comedy hero, not too sappy, not too butch, not too perfect in aboring sense but like, actually PERFECT. So ever since I read that article, stuff keeps coming back to me, for example we were in bed talking one time, we were both pretty drunk so I cant remember how it came up, but he was like "How do you feel about guys who have had sex with loads of women? Does it make them more or less attractive?" and I said it depended on the situation, and he said "Well, how about if I told you instead of 8 girls (how many he told me hed been with) I'd been with 80?" I said that unless I wanted a relationship it wouldnt matter (not true or else I wouldnt be writing this) but also expressed my general disapproval for that kind of behaviour. After a bit I was like, why, have you? And he was like, no ofc not, I told you, 8, so I dropped it. But anyway, that conversation in combination with the manual I read and a few other things (as well as a general intuition) gave me the impression that actually he does this kind of thing all the time, and is possibly using techniques from "The Game" or another similar pick up guide. This makees me feel pissed off, because I really hate the feeling that the things he was saying to me weren't sincere, or that he sorta tricked me into thinking he was a decent guy so I'd bang him. I'd only been with three guys before him, so even though I was only looking for a fling, no waaaay would I have got with him if I knew hed slept with that many other women etc. I haven't heard from him since we left uni, but then why would I have done when we aren't going to see each other for a year and only knew each other for a week? But yeah, I don't want to regret what happened with him or feel like I was tricked, so I'd appreciate feedback. Am I just being paranoid?

Is It Normal?
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  • if it was all in th name of fun what would it matter? the idea of sex with strangers is that you dont need to know there past you just want the fun. yea you might of came across a book or article but honestly? do you think a bloke could remember everything that the book said to do ? lol you just went with the flow and both got what you wanted so i think there is no problem : )

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  • One thing you need to be careful of is over analyzing. I just got out of a relationship where she could never, ever, believe I was being real with her. I like to consider myself very similar to what you described..But the real kind, not the fake kind. Not trying to toot my own horn, but just give advice here...

    Anyways, my ex would constantly doubt everything about me. Why did he do that? What does that mean? Is he being serious or playing me? Can I trust what he says? etc etc etc ETC!!! It seriously ruined our relationship. I felt taken for granted and had to end it, even though everything else about us was tight.

    At some point you have to trust someone, and granted you'd only known him for a week or whatever...but keep in mind there's a chance he is for real and you're just doming yourself out. It can be toxic. Just a warning, because I know where it leads if you never resolve it. Good luck.

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  • Agree. Sorry, sweetie. That sucks.

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  • Trust your judgement & intuition. You got manipulated in a very personal way. You knew it was a fling, but that doesn't mean you don't expect integrity & honesty. Maybe you can feel some pity for someone who has to be that fake and scripted - in a sense. But its mostly manipulative, cheap and cheezey.

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