Is it normal to talk to your ex wife?
My boyfriend talks to his ex wife on a regular basis knowing that she still have feelings for him and he is secretive about it I know this because I looked on his phone
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olderdude-xx
Yes; some people can still be friends even if the romantic side or marriage did not work out.
My best friend (started 40+ years ago) started out as a romantic relationship that did not work out for marriage.
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RoseIsabella
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Boojum
I'd have no problems with a partner talking to an ex (after some time had passed since their breakup), but only if my partner was open about this happening and seemed to be honest about their interaction. So the secrecy of your boyfriend seems to me to be a red flag.
From the little you say, I wonder if he does this because he gets an ego-boost from staying in touch with someone who still has feelings for him. That strikes me as another red flag, since it sounds manipulative, selfish and really pretty immature.
Obviously, the other question you should be asking yourself is if it could be that he's keeping her hanging on as a backup plan if you and him should breakup.
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SkullsNRoses
No that’s not normal, if he’s feeling the need to hide it from you it’s because he knows you wouldn’t like it. Have you told him that you’re uncomfortable with him talking to her?
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Cttaa
Yes and he said he would cut her off but obviously still hasn't he says there's nothing going on and I'd b ok with it but I'm not because hes not honest with me
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Boojum
I agree that he should be honest with you about this, but I have to wonder why he said that he would "cut her off". You say you'd be okay with him staying in touch, but him promising to break off contact and then keeping his calls secret suggests that he might believe you're too insecure to deal with him staying in touch with the mother of his kids for purely practical reasons. Alternatively, stuff could be going on between him and his ex that no reasonable new partner would ever accept.
This guy has adult children, so he should be old enough to understand that this sort of secrecy is corrosive to relationships.
The very fact you asked this question here suggests that, deep down, you understand that something is wrong with this relationship. I suspect you know that you need to have an honest and probably difficult discussion with him about his relationship with his ex, but you're reluctant to do that because you've got a gut feeling that the result of that talk will not be what you'd prefer.
I firmly believe that women should always go with their gut feelings. Ignoring those and going with their wishful feelings often ends very badly.
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SkullsNRoses
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RoseIsabella
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