No, I doubt this is psychopathy but it can’t really be known
1. I do not have any clinical experience with psychopaths let alone clinical experience in the first place (like most people online)
2. There is not enough information in your post to make such an assessment.
Getting those disclaimers out of the way, this is a description of sadism (pleasure in causing pain and/or distress) and perhaps impulse control (can’t hold yourself back) rather than psychopathy, as you feel what you are doing is wrong. Although that doesn’t mean much anyway because we don’t know how you really feel.
It’s interesting, because how people are reacting is probably indicative of your writing. You say you ‘yanked’ it and ‘tortured it’ but it sounds like a description of an average person giving an animal a bath, but then you take pleasure in the reaction. I think more people do than they would admit. Look at youtube, there are all these videos of people giving distressed cats a bath, with everyone in it having a good time except the cat. I think it’s more common that you would think, but people can either control themselves, or they justify it in some way.
I do simular things, and I also want the animal to fight back. For example, stroking a cat’s back paw until it gets pissed off, then keep doing it until it bites my hand and kicks at it and I push it around. To a naive observer, it almost looks like the cat picked a fight with me. But the best thing to do is to threaten the cat with a bath. I don’t have to actually give it one. If I hold her over the bath, she clings to me, and makes fear meows. And yes, guinea pigs. They are very good at expressing fear. Give him a bath and he’s weeking for his life. And his heavy breathing, it’s so exhilarating. There is nothing he can do about it. But it’s wrong, and sometimes I can’t help myself. It’s even harder because I work in a research lab with rats and mice. The thing to do there is to tape the mice’s tails to the cages and watch them try to get away – I also poke them to aggravate them more and they sometimes squeak for their lives.
There is a ‘line’ or what’s ‘okay pain’ to cause and if that line is crossed, I feel absolutely terrible. The closer I get to the line, the more pleasure I feel, but crossing it, it’s all over and I can almost feel the pain on my own body. The problem is that when I get close to the line or just over it, the position of the line changes next time, which means I can cause more pain.
What I do about it? The opposite – be nice to animals and humans too. I actually found that causing pleasure feels much better and doesn’t have that guilty aftertaste. Making the cat purr is so much better than making her yowl in terror. The guinea pig weeking for food is much better than in fear. And this might sound weird, but if I really get the urge, a good wank helps. Because of that, I thought this might be a sexual thing, but I think a wank just provides a calmer satisfied feeling and that’s it. And to also think about what you’re about to do. It takes several actions to pick up some tape and to walk over to the mice. Do I really want to do this? How will I feel after?
I don’t know if that will help you, but it helped me. It’s now very rare that I actually do these things compared to when I was younger, however the problem is still there.
Is it normal to take pleasure in torturing weak animals?
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No, I doubt this is psychopathy but it can’t really be known
1. I do not have any clinical experience with psychopaths let alone clinical experience in the first place (like most people online)
2. There is not enough information in your post to make such an assessment.
Getting those disclaimers out of the way, this is a description of sadism (pleasure in causing pain and/or distress) and perhaps impulse control (can’t hold yourself back) rather than psychopathy, as you feel what you are doing is wrong. Although that doesn’t mean much anyway because we don’t know how you really feel.
It’s interesting, because how people are reacting is probably indicative of your writing. You say you ‘yanked’ it and ‘tortured it’ but it sounds like a description of an average person giving an animal a bath, but then you take pleasure in the reaction. I think more people do than they would admit. Look at youtube, there are all these videos of people giving distressed cats a bath, with everyone in it having a good time except the cat. I think it’s more common that you would think, but people can either control themselves, or they justify it in some way.
I do simular things, and I also want the animal to fight back. For example, stroking a cat’s back paw until it gets pissed off, then keep doing it until it bites my hand and kicks at it and I push it around. To a naive observer, it almost looks like the cat picked a fight with me. But the best thing to do is to threaten the cat with a bath. I don’t have to actually give it one. If I hold her over the bath, she clings to me, and makes fear meows. And yes, guinea pigs. They are very good at expressing fear. Give him a bath and he’s weeking for his life. And his heavy breathing, it’s so exhilarating. There is nothing he can do about it. But it’s wrong, and sometimes I can’t help myself. It’s even harder because I work in a research lab with rats and mice. The thing to do there is to tape the mice’s tails to the cages and watch them try to get away – I also poke them to aggravate them more and they sometimes squeak for their lives.
There is a ‘line’ or what’s ‘okay pain’ to cause and if that line is crossed, I feel absolutely terrible. The closer I get to the line, the more pleasure I feel, but crossing it, it’s all over and I can almost feel the pain on my own body. The problem is that when I get close to the line or just over it, the position of the line changes next time, which means I can cause more pain.
What I do about it? The opposite – be nice to animals and humans too. I actually found that causing pleasure feels much better and doesn’t have that guilty aftertaste. Making the cat purr is so much better than making her yowl in terror. The guinea pig weeking for food is much better than in fear. And this might sound weird, but if I really get the urge, a good wank helps. Because of that, I thought this might be a sexual thing, but I think a wank just provides a calmer satisfied feeling and that’s it. And to also think about what you’re about to do. It takes several actions to pick up some tape and to walk over to the mice. Do I really want to do this? How will I feel after?
I don’t know if that will help you, but it helped me. It’s now very rare that I actually do these things compared to when I was younger, however the problem is still there.