Yes... the "modern" mentality is ... "if you're fighting then the marriage needs to end"
However in reality... counseling is a means for both parties to discus their issues and have the assistance of someone who knows how to help people reach compromise.
The hard part is... BOTH spouses WILL have to admit they're wrong in some areas. And that's not always easy... it's easier to blame the partner vs facing yourself.
This is where counseling helps out. unless you just don't care about saving your marriage. in which case one must wonder why you got married in the first place if you didn't care...
Ho there, I didn't say fighting is a big deal.
I ment that, if you're unhappy with the other person, and require councelling, then from my point of view, it's not worth it.
However, some, like yourself, might disagree though (:
My take on it is... if you give up just because your marriage needs help, your mental idea of what a marriage is may be the fantasy version.
A real marriage is work - it's not all play time. You'll have serious issues to face.
Counseling is there to help you learn to work through your problems and make your marriage even stronger.
and it won't be easy ... each partner will had to admit to their own faults and where they're coming up short.
i think that's one reason why people divorce more... people expect the fairy tale wedding and marriage. and finding out it actually takes WORK and you might have to admit to being wrong sometimes... well yeah, that's no longer fun.
I don't expect a fairytale marriage, that would never happen. I'm just saying that, if certain problems occur, and you can't solve them together, then you probably can solve the same exact problem with someone else if you had it with another person.
Thus making giving it up a better choice, because in my opinion, there is someone who you can work things out with. Even though you still fight.
Is it normal to struggle with staying with or leaving your husband
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Yes... the "modern" mentality is ... "if you're fighting then the marriage needs to end"
However in reality... counseling is a means for both parties to discus their issues and have the assistance of someone who knows how to help people reach compromise.
The hard part is... BOTH spouses WILL have to admit they're wrong in some areas. And that's not always easy... it's easier to blame the partner vs facing yourself.
This is where counseling helps out. unless you just don't care about saving your marriage. in which case one must wonder why you got married in the first place if you didn't care...
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IrishPotato
11 years ago
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IrishPotato
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And also, I haven't married yet. My opinion might change in the future ^^
Ho there, I didn't say fighting is a big deal.
I ment that, if you're unhappy with the other person, and require councelling, then from my point of view, it's not worth it.
However, some, like yourself, might disagree though (:
--
Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
11 years ago
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My take on it is... if you give up just because your marriage needs help, your mental idea of what a marriage is may be the fantasy version.
A real marriage is work - it's not all play time. You'll have serious issues to face.
Counseling is there to help you learn to work through your problems and make your marriage even stronger.
and it won't be easy ... each partner will had to admit to their own faults and where they're coming up short.
i think that's one reason why people divorce more... people expect the fairy tale wedding and marriage. and finding out it actually takes WORK and you might have to admit to being wrong sometimes... well yeah, that's no longer fun.
--
IrishPotato
11 years ago
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I don't expect a fairytale marriage, that would never happen. I'm just saying that, if certain problems occur, and you can't solve them together, then you probably can solve the same exact problem with someone else if you had it with another person.
Thus making giving it up a better choice, because in my opinion, there is someone who you can work things out with. Even though you still fight.