Is it normal to struggle telling my family i love them?

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From a young age, I've had a hard time telling family members that I love them. It feels wrong, I often force the words out. When it comes to close friends, I can easily say "I love you." I'm very open about who I care about and I never hesitate to show people how much I love them. I'm not a very masculine guy, obviously, hell I can be rather feminine. But with my family, especially my parents, it's nearly impossible for me to express love. I never initiate a hug, or a kiss, I have to struggle not to hesitate when saying "I love you too." I have to keep up a fake smile and force myself not to move away when I'm given physical affection, which I usually crave from others.

Now, I admit, in the past my family and I have had problems. There have been arguments, there's been some hatred. When I was a much younger, about 3-6 or so, my parents were often too busy for simple family time. I'm not saying they neglected me of love, my mother did her best to hug and kiss me and my older brother as much as possible despite her struggles with finding and keeping work. But, from her words, I never liked it too much.

Am I a bad son for being unable to express love for my family but being completely capable of showing friends how much I love them whether it be through words or actions? Is there something wrong with me? I want to know so I can maybe figure out how to fix this...

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57% Normal
Based on 7 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 1 )
  • Ellenna
    5 years ago

    I don't think there's anything wrong with you or that you're a bad son, but I'm not sure from your post whether or not you do love your family members?

    If you don't then it's totally normal if you don't pretend to: if you do love them but can't express it maybe there's a lot of old resentment there that hasn't been expressed? That can co-exist alongside love, particularly in families, if it's never talked about.

    Can I suggest you find someone you trust, maybe a therapist, and work on this if you want to change it?

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