Is it normal to still miss my abusive ex

Sometimes it is the ones who hurt us the most that we tend to love the most. And although it does not sound healthy, it is quite normal. Your jealousy is derived from the memories you shared with him. It is the past that keeps you hanging on and feeling hurt when you see that your place has been filled by another girl.

Though this man was physically and emotionally abusive towards you, you loved him because you weighed the good times you had with him more heavily than the bad times in your relationship. You allowed the positive to cancel out the negative.

Though it will be hard, moving on is possible. I believe that when you learn to have more confidence in yourself that the journey will become more easier. You have to learn that you are stronger and better off without him. You have to learn to admit to yourself that he didn't love you the way you loved him no matter what he told you.

Somewhere in this world is a guy who will honestly love you. A guy who will never raise his hand at you unless it is to hold you. A guy who will never deliberately try to hurt your feelings and if he does will go insane trying to make it up to you. Somewhere in this world, that sort of guy exists... but it is not your ex.

But before you go looking for that guy, you need to become stronger. And I believe you can and will. :)

I was in a physically and mentally abusive relationship for four years, left it, and thrust myself into a realtionship with a long time guy friend of mine. He is the polar opposite of my ex. He is loving and warm and nurturing. IT took me a while to get over my ex. But I am so happy I did. The mistake I made recently was looking him up on myspace and seeing pictures of his new girlfriend. Apparently she was a dancer for 7 years or something. It didnt make me miss him, it grossed me out and made me feel dispensable. I reminded myself how good my life is right now though, and how good it feels to be wrapped in the arms of a man who builds me up not tears me down. Thats what its about. ITs going to take time to get your self-esteem back up after what your ex did to you. Just to be in a new relationship, where I wasnt treated like shit was hard because I kept telling myself I wasnt worthy of his love and kindness and that I was too ugly or weird for him and NONE of that is true!

Don't worry about your friends. I tend to think that it can be hard to let go of anyone that you've loved no matter what they have dont

I know exactly how u feel I knew my ex fiance for 23yrs we were good friends hadn't seen him for ten yrs we got together it seemed like the perfect love story when the abuse started he started calling his ex that hurt me so bad I can still feel it the end was when he broke my nose while on the phone with her and I just know he's back with her and it breaks my heart even though I know he's gonna eventually abuse her again but I'm still so jealous i just started consouling and try to pray everyday for strength it's only been a month since the break up and I left knowing it was for the beat but the jealousy and the Hurt is still so fresh

If anything, I think you should deter others from wanting to be with him - surely you don't want someone to go through what you have.

It's normal to feel the way you do, but it's very good that you're out of that mess.

Sadly, I've known quite a few women who seem to almost seek out that sort of relationship, even though they don't know they are. Out of one abusive relationship, into another... and because it happens with more than one guy, they somehow think it's their fault it happens, that something about them makes guys want to hit them.

I don't think you're one of these women because, unlike them, you got it, where they tend to stay in until he gets arrested or some sort of intervention occurs. Good for you! Now stay strong. I don't think you need to find a guy that will treat you like a princess, but you do need to find one that will treat you like a human.

Have done sorry

thanx a lot :) I m tryin to move on and im trying to be strong but sometimes i feel so weak. I will be strong and my confidence will soar up and im going to feel great and move on once i've healed!!! :)Thing is sometimes it seems like im more worried about what other people will think because some of my friends were jealous and now im afraid of the 'i told you so'. I know that I can make it and I know that i can stand and become strong and confident again

I will meet my dream guy and I will be happy again

No this isn't normal he hurt you..And you still love him and get jealous of him talking to other girls..Just think about what he has been doing to you when you were with him.. He might be doing it to those other chicks as well..I'd just move on and forget about him cause there are other guys in this world that can treat a girl better..Guys like that don't deserve girls at all..He needs help..People who hit people psychally need professional help...I think you should try and forget about him.