Is it normal to still feel so depressed?

80% Normal
9 Comments

Not sure how to start. I am 25 now and on my 9th birthday I lost my younger brother to a hit and run driver. Being so young it screwed me up pretty badly. Had years of therapy that did absolutely nothing as I do not talk about my feelings and even if I wanted to I wouldn't have know what to say. To boot I married who I thought was the love of my life, moved from California to Nebraska with her where she left me after only 6 months and I came back home. As you can imagine that screwed me up pretty badly as well. When I was younger I was very depressed and suicidal and hid it very well. Never spoke to anybody about my thoughts and feelings.

So now we're up to speed at least a little bit. What I am having trouble with is that I am still extremely depressed. Between the loss of my brother when I was a child, the failed marriage and all the debt I am in and trouble I am having getting things in order I am overwhelmed.

I still feel suicidal and depressed and I really don't want to. The thoughts I have I know almost for certain I would never go through with because of what it would make me look like to the people around me and for the sadness I would cause some of these people (mainly my parents losing another/their last child). However; I think about it so often and I don't know if it's normal. Well. I mean. I know it's not normal to feel and think about that sort of stuff but I am so lost. So angry. None of this is really a question but I needed to put this out there...

Is It Normal?
Feeling Suicidal?
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Comments ( 9 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • emilydoll
    12 years ago | pl

    I'll be your friend. That sounds tough. It's great that you shared this, Im sure someone can relate.

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    • shoryu4
      12 years ago | pl

      Yeah, I definately understand what your going through. Ive been through 2 depressions in my life.

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  • mlbryan44
    9 years ago | pl

    I get depressed a lot too but I resort to sex. A blowjob cures everything in my opinion. Whether getting one or giving one.

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  • allbran69
    10 years ago | pl

    I know how it feels, I've had depression on and off ever since i can remember but the best thing I ever did was reach out to as many people as I could for help. You are not on your own, depression happens to so many people and I know when you are at your lowest it feels horrible but believe me it can get better. xxx

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  • yesnomaybeso
    11 years ago | pl

    Aw I'm so sorry :(

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  • crissyabear
    12 years ago | pl

    See a doctor. You may not believe it in your mind set now but medicine will help.

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  • joybird
    12 years ago | pl

    I'm sorry for your loss :o(

    Although I live my life at full speed working for other people, sometimes I can be paralysed when it comes to doing things for myself. Something as simple as making a phone call or posting a letter. Sounds daft, I know, but if you are overwhelmed it is important to tell someone and delegate some small tasks to your friends or family. They may not understand but will know that if you have taken the time to ask, then it's important they help you - and they will be glad to.

    Please try this and talk to a grief counsellor.

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  • AngAnders112
    12 years ago | pl

    have you ever thought of taking anti depressants and/or talking to a counselor or therapist?

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  • ThatOneOtherPerson
    12 years ago | pl

    I feel for you. I know depression sucks (though mine was petty compared to what you've been through.)

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