Is it normal to still feel friendless b/c of one person?

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4 Comments

I have made new friends this year, especially two girls that love me a lot and I love them back, they are always happy to see me, which makes me feel thankful since it used to not be like this.

The things is, there is one specific girl that seems to ruin it all for me. The first time I met her, I was indifferent, later on, I saw her and her friend (but, I have no bad feelings towards her b/c she initially tried to make me join with her group of friends but I was clinically depressed) take away my friend I knew for years. This girl also took my "seat" as the "smartest" girl at school, and the teachers started to become mean to me and love her. Even though I saw she cheated on her tests. Everyone called her pretty, and I always found her boring but for some reason people would still talk to her despite me hearing her call them ugly or that she hated them.

Last year I started warming up to her and she even let me borrow her book (it was Twilight and hated it, that's not the point though). Then, this year, she seemed nice and I fell a bit in love with this boy I knew around the time I knew her, and was broken hearted when I found out he was head over heels for her since last year!

And when the friend I said she took away from me came during vacation, I decided we three should go to the mall, which we did, and I thought we had a good time despite it being a bit awkward between us two. Ever since she hasn't talked to me, I thought at first it might be jealousy that I talked a bit more to the other girl that went, but to still be upset?

I hate how I was really nice to this guy the whole class had their backs to, and all of a sudden he is friends with a group of guys and even more friends with this girl despite her telling me she absolutely hated him, he was annoying, etc., and this guy is being more distant to me now.

Every time I'm around her I feel this huge negative energy and feel like crying, it's been months and I still want to know what happened. I say hi, she says nothing. Sometimes she stares at me and I look back and she looks away. It's making me start to hate her again, she says some things to me on MSN that are rude. I really would like to be friends but she's always been this kind of person that won't open up for a "talk".

I don't know what to do, I'm such a loser for asking and this is so long to read, I really wish I could be on good terms on everyone. I want to have that "f**k her" attitude, but I just can't, please help?!

Is It Normal?
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  • graceandglory
    13 years ago | pl

    Yeah, I know someone like that. When I first met her, I thought she was nice but she has this really condescending attitude... like everyone is inferior to her. And it drives me crazy. But I don't even talk to her anymore. People like that aren't worth wasting time on. As for others, there's nothing you can really do about people paying attention to her, but I guess it helps if you don't compare yourself to her. Sorry I can't help more! :(

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  • jab7861
    13 years ago | pl

    I know a girl somewhat similar to the one you described. She's nice to everyone, so everyone she knows really likes her, but I can see through her BS. It's a long story, but basically, she isn't the perfect person she claims to be. Not even close, actually. She doesn't give a flying you-know-what about other people's feelings, even though she swears up and down that she does, purely to save face. She has got to be the single most self-absorbed, dellusional person I have ever met. I'm sorry I ever made friends with her now, because even though she initially seemed like an awesome person, she is truly the exact opposite and I really wish she would just go away and never come back. I'm a guy, by the way.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    This is a learning opportunity for you and here's the concept: An enemy & rival.

    Yes. Hard to believe that not everybody is nice or wants to be as nice as you want. But there it is. This girl is torpedoing you.

    Since you are smart in school you will attract people who envy you and want to undo you.

    Here's another concept: sucker. Don't be one. Get over yourself & the implicit demand that she like and be fair to you.

    Cut her out of your life. That is not being mean, rather it is called self preservation.

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  • PoisonFlowers
    13 years ago | pl

    Fuck her!

    She's not your friend, that's why you feel friendless. She's making you feel like shit, so why bother making the effort to talk to her? You're not a loser and you're already on good terms with me because you sound like a really nice person. Am I being judgemental in a "postive" way? Perhaps, but who cares - you don't like Twilight.

    I've met many people like her. They talk behind other people's backs to you (almost guaranteeing that they talk behind YOUR back to others) and they are manipulative, feeding off of other people. See how she befriended you just to take away your friend whom you had known for years? See how she even took the teachers' attention away from you by cheating at tests?

    I feel sorry for that guy who you say is infatuated with the girl, as in all probability, it will end badly (since she professes to hate his guts.) Unfortunately, there's not much you can do.

    Listen, this girl is a toxic "friend" and you have to get away from her influence, or at least as far away from it as you can.

    It's better to leave room for people who can be real friends who care for you rather than keeping yourself tied to people who hurt you, time and again.

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