You're going through a grieving process. It's okay to need help for this. Grieving death is one of the hardest challenges in life. If you're too uncomfortable asking your parents for help, tell your counselor at school. They can help you with this. You should know though that this nothing to be embarrassed about if that's why you don't want to tell your parents.
Is it normal to still cry about best friends suicide after 10 months?
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You're going through a grieving process. It's okay to need help for this. Grieving death is one of the hardest challenges in life. If you're too uncomfortable asking your parents for help, tell your counselor at school. They can help you with this. You should know though that this nothing to be embarrassed about if that's why you don't want to tell your parents.