Is it normal to still be so hurt?

I was always a really nerdy guy, and didn't get to fancy a woman until I was about 21. I met her and everything came effortlessly. She was the coolest person ever, kind, caring, interesting. But for some reason she would never take the next step. I'm not talking into romance. We just stayed polite acquaintances.

This was excluding when randomly, she would want to spend time together, and I would all of a sudden become an interesting guy again. Which she would drop again and I'd feel like a stranger over night. Sometimes she would get really egregious and invite me into inappropriate situations for what I was, by her choice, a stranger. She would try to isolate me, sometimes even in her bedroom, but I loved her too much to do this, and realized she would do it to anyone.

I then realized she was in an on and off relationship, that she would be fine going outside of, in the off periods. That she just intended to use me and leave me hurt like she did to all her other side men. This lead me to believe all the chemistry I felt was a well rehearsed craft.

I could never talk to her about it, because conveniently she would just say bible this bible that, be quiet. She got me to think that I was the lustful one and I hated myself for a long time. For ruining this great thing. This is all coming from a 24 year old. Us Christians are immature. The hurt is so deep though. To this day she could fix everything in 5 minutes, but the only conversation she is willing to have is as strangers. Example, "I'm out here doing this, the weather is like this." "Why did you do that to me?" "... I gotta get to work." What do you guys make of it. Any one go through something similar.

Hard to feel like she did no wrong when I'm sure she caused it, could heal it in minutes and just chooses not to.