I hear that, but you don't need to leave them behind, you just need to step aside and make room for the new partners. I'd have no problem with my partner staying on good terms with an ex, but if I thought they were discussing our relationship, or if he was asking her about his current partner, I'd consider it too familiar. (and I'd be pissed...) It's a balancing act. I think you'll find that the people you want to stick around aren't going to stick around if they feel they're getting a raw deal. Sorry, I'm not trying to be harsh here and I know it's difficult, I've been in this situation.
The real problem could be later, when you eventually have to harshly cut someone out of your life, so if you're interested in actual advice: Start backing away gracefully now and start actually being "diplomatic" with your exes and set some boundaries/borders (the metaphor actually provides decent guidelines), and not keeping them super close like you're still involved.
Is it normal to still be friends with all your past girlfriends?
↑ View this comment's parent
← View full post
I hear that, but you don't need to leave them behind, you just need to step aside and make room for the new partners. I'd have no problem with my partner staying on good terms with an ex, but if I thought they were discussing our relationship, or if he was asking her about his current partner, I'd consider it too familiar. (and I'd be pissed...) It's a balancing act. I think you'll find that the people you want to stick around aren't going to stick around if they feel they're getting a raw deal. Sorry, I'm not trying to be harsh here and I know it's difficult, I've been in this situation.
The real problem could be later, when you eventually have to harshly cut someone out of your life, so if you're interested in actual advice: Start backing away gracefully now and start actually being "diplomatic" with your exes and set some boundaries/borders (the metaphor actually provides decent guidelines), and not keeping them super close like you're still involved.