1. You don't love who you're with. If one day X were to go, "I would date you, but you have someone already," you would probably dump Y in a heartbeat. That's fucked up, and shows how pointless the relationship was from the start, so why bother? Loneliness? He/She is "good" to you? She/he is what you "need"? All pathetic excuses to use someone to fill your own void, when you can solve these feelings on your own if you tried.
2. You wont cherish him/her as much as they deserve. Your dissatisfaction will show, especially if you're still keeping in contact with X, and watching their progress in life; including their relationships. For example, if X were to get a new haircut and look super cute with it, you may (without realizing it) suggest to the warm-body (the person you're "dating") to get the same haircut. You'll probably do a lot of things that will indicate that the person you're dating just isn't good enough compared to the person you're obsess with, and believe me, that person will noticed more than you think he/she would.
3. It's a waste of time for you and for the person you're dating. Unless you're an expert actor, and can act for years, the relationship will eventually come to an end. Either you're going to get tired of pretending to love this person and being in a loveless relationship, or she/he will; and that could take months or years depending on how oblivious or in denial your partner is about the situation, or how much you want to hold on to this pointless relationship.
It's best to stay single, and sort though your feelings for X; even call X for closure (confess or whatever). If dating X still impossible, then you need to work on getting over him/her, and accepting that it's not going to happen. There are billions of people in the world, and we're all compatible with at least a couple thousand in any given city, she may feel like "the one," but realistically, you have many opportunities to fall in love again if you allow yourself. So go through the motions. It could take months, or years depending on whether or not you're ready to let go of this obsession.
IIN to stay with the one you need because the one you love isn't available?
← View full post
Settling is the worse thing you can do.
1. You don't love who you're with. If one day X were to go, "I would date you, but you have someone already," you would probably dump Y in a heartbeat. That's fucked up, and shows how pointless the relationship was from the start, so why bother? Loneliness? He/She is "good" to you? She/he is what you "need"? All pathetic excuses to use someone to fill your own void, when you can solve these feelings on your own if you tried.
2. You wont cherish him/her as much as they deserve. Your dissatisfaction will show, especially if you're still keeping in contact with X, and watching their progress in life; including their relationships. For example, if X were to get a new haircut and look super cute with it, you may (without realizing it) suggest to the warm-body (the person you're "dating") to get the same haircut. You'll probably do a lot of things that will indicate that the person you're dating just isn't good enough compared to the person you're obsess with, and believe me, that person will noticed more than you think he/she would.
3. It's a waste of time for you and for the person you're dating. Unless you're an expert actor, and can act for years, the relationship will eventually come to an end. Either you're going to get tired of pretending to love this person and being in a loveless relationship, or she/he will; and that could take months or years depending on how oblivious or in denial your partner is about the situation, or how much you want to hold on to this pointless relationship.
It's best to stay single, and sort though your feelings for X; even call X for closure (confess or whatever). If dating X still impossible, then you need to work on getting over him/her, and accepting that it's not going to happen. There are billions of people in the world, and we're all compatible with at least a couple thousand in any given city, she may feel like "the one," but realistically, you have many opportunities to fall in love again if you allow yourself. So go through the motions. It could take months, or years depending on whether or not you're ready to let go of this obsession.