Is it normal to stay with my pregnant girlfriend?

45% Normal
4 Comments

A few months ago I gave my girlfriend permission to have sex with other men as I am employed by an organization that operates both outside and inside the U.S. and we rarely get to see each other, plus I thought the idea of being cuckolded long-distance was kind of sexy. She very reluctantly experimented with a few guys in her dorm and found a black guy she liked. They had sex a few times and now she is pregnant. She was very upset when she found out and cut all contact with the father. She also desperately wants me to remain with her and is very very scared I will leave her after the child is born. I still want to be with her regardless but now that the fantasy has become reality I am worried about being a father to another man's child. Especially because the child will obviously not be mine and i believe informing my family and friends of why I am fathering a black child when both parents are white would be embarrassing. However I deeply love my girlfriend and she has always been very dedicated to me. Any ideas as to what I should do?

Voting Results
45% Normal
Based on 11 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • quentari
    10 years ago

    You could tell your family that you IVF'd from a donor, as you wanted kids but because of your traveling it was too hard/too much effort to conceive, if it embarrasses you too much. I can understand being honest would be hard because so many people can be judgmental. All I can ask is that you not just outright leave your girlfriend. However hard it is for you it will be worse for her. Does she even want to have the baby? If you guys aren't ready there's adoption (although honestly unless you have a white male adoption chances are low) or abortion (if you are both okay with that sort of thing). You could always tell people to mind their own business, you could even legally adopt the child (unless you write your name of the birth certificate). Just remember that (from the sounds of it) this was your idea. No contraceptive is 100% foolproof. (my fiance is a twin and his mother was on the pill when she conceived, a bit of a shock!)

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    • Octopusmaster21
      10 years ago

      She doesn't want to go the adoption route as she feels it would be unfair to the child. Nor does she want to have an abortion. Thank you for the input. This is the first time I've ever been so torn as to what to do that I would try asking the internet.

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      • quentari
        10 years ago

        That's fair enough. Adoption/abortion isn't for everyone.

        Like I said try to be as supportive as possible. You have 9 months to think of something and prepare yourself mentally for this child.

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  • vagman30
    10 years ago

    First of all if you "deeply" love your girlfriend, then why the hell did you give her permission to have sex with other guys? What the hell kind of an idiot boyfriend are you allowing your girlfriend to f*** other men and then get herself pregnant? I never allowed my girlfriends from high school & college to even look at another man whenever I was far away. You say you love her, but yet you allowed her to have sex with other men. How is that even love? Where did you get that kind of thinking? If you really loved her, you wouldn't even have allowed this to happen and maybe the child she's carrying could have been all yours. I'm sorry but something like this should not even be tolerated. I have no sympathy for you or your girlfriend whatsoever. Your girlfriend's an idiot for listening to you, but you're an even bigger idiot for allowing her to do this in the first place. If this is what couples do to each other as an expression of love, then God, please wipe out the human race completely.

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