Ask Your Question today
We are in our 30's are deeply in love with each other. Lately, we both expressed sexual fantasies and desires for others and are thinking of swinging. This is just purely sex with other people. No strings attached. We already set our rules. Is this normal? Has anyone done this?
U know I was really hoping this was what the post was about when i clicked it
Yeah, but it's time to cut down on those brid snacks birdy! It's getting harder and harder to push you :/
Yes.
Remember, this is just plain sex. It's as using another's body as a toy. So when you have your hard times, as all relationships do, you never say "what? so now you're in love with that new vibrator? I knew we should've never used that new oil!"
Basically, set your rules, follow them, and continue life. You'll be fine.
I never thought there were so many closed minded individuals, online of all places. We are instilled with the attitude that you give your all to only one person. To me, that's all your love. I do not believe in cheating. Most people forget that cheating is what we are really taught not to do. If both parties know and accept, obviously it's not cheating. it's that simple. People who do not understand something so simple are retarded.
Enjoy your life.
Either the most hypocritical comment I have ever seen, or just oddly written.
You're reading it wrong. I'm saying that we, in these past FEW generations, are instilled with an attitude that just wanting some extra fun in the bedroom is some kind of form of cheating. This is only true if the partner knows nothing and/or disagrees. In a relationship where both parties agree, where's the problem?
when most people think about this subject, they instantly want to think of a couple who's dissatisfied and just want other people. Why? Why can't it be a relationship where two responsible, loving adults view it as a sexual vacation from the "norm"? Or a couple who wants to watch a live porno starring their favorite person in the world...their lifelong partner, with the opportunity to actually join in that porno?
in a media outlook, anyone who deviates from a lifelong relationship of doing the same sex routine every week for 40+ years are perceived to just be unhappy, in books, movies, internet, even in porn sometimes. That's only because drama sells.
We have been married nearly thirty-five years and have been swingers since we met. Our longevity in swinging is due to our ability to maintain the perspective that it is just sex. People who are unable to distinguish sex from love and commitment should not swing--but if you see sex as a wild and wonderful recreation, go to it! We have been with people of all ages and races, in groups of three and many more. I am 63 and there are experiences I and still looking forward to having for the first time. When the arrives that the interest/ability has left you, there will be a smile on you face for all that you were able to do.
Perfectly normal. I look at sex as a recreational activity, therefore I don't feel the need to have sex with one person exclusively to show my love for them. Nor do I need to love someone to have sex with them.
I'm actually getting married soon, because I love my fiancée very much and want to spend the rest of my life with her. But does that mean she's the only person I'll ever want to have sex with? No. Sex and love are not mutually exclusive.
Not technically normal, only because most people don't do it, but logical.
No i don't think swinging is normal. I think it show you've already lost interest in your girl a little,don't want to admit it and you're trying to find a "legal" way to cheat. If you do it..your morals will be altered a little and in the future you will already loose the meaning of what is good and what is bad.
I think its quite disgusting and destorys certain values which keep people together in the frist place, but hey.. each to their own.
Just be sure to use protection.
I think its cheap and its not a good thing at all. you love one another or you don't! and I think swinging shows your player so there for you don't love or have morels for each other!! Sorry If I sound mean but thats what I think!
I am having trouble accepting the swinging piece. If you truly love your wife, she should be enough for you.
You start swinging now at 30 and your relationship won't last wait till your about 60 by then you'll be at a point where you won't care what you do.
Play the game then put it away, as long as your honest and open it will work. Never cheat behind each others backs and never leave the boundaries you set.
So this thread is already old by now, but I have to comment on the extent that those who are opposed to swinging go in judging and insulting those who are into it.
I can understand that for you, there is no way you could enjoy or derive any pleasure from your spouse or partner in a sexual situation with someone who is not you.
Is it so difficult for you to imagine that between some other couples, to their thinking such a scenario would be pleasurable?
My wife and I have been together since High. School, my love for her is absolutely unwavering, I believe her love for me to be the same. I cant imagine any other life than growing old together right to our last days in this life. She is an extremely beautiful woman and other men frequently flirt and hit on her, I love that. I can see that it makes her feel beautiful and happy, what else would I want for her? From time to time she has been attracted in turn to some other guys and wants to have sex with them, if it works out, I love when she brings them home, I love to watch her with them, I love to join in, I have no concern that she will carry on some inapropriate relationship with them, it honestly is just something fun that we both enjoy, and even afterward we have great sex together andenjoy the memory. We sometimes have situations with other women but I cant speakfor her about why she enjoys that I can only try to probide you some insight to my perspective.
Swinging is fun, I see. Alot of relationships fail and alot become stronger. It all depends on if it is true love and just enjoy the lifestyle or not
I'm in love with my bf, but need to have other men as well. I can't be faithful. Marie
I doubt your love incredibly if you feel this way. How would you feel letting your love be used as a sex object for some stranger? Nothing can come out of this besides regret, and especially jealousy if you're a normal being.
I always pondered on this kind of a marriage. All things aside, a relationship between two people can, and or may not last forever. In looking for my ideal mate, I'm more interested in how she would raise children then be faithful cause, i don't pack a large semi automatic and i have no plans to get an extended clip. But to be fair, ill let her take first pick
For some people sex and love are pretty much the same thing (in my experience this can be a very bad thing) and for other people sex is about as meaningful as a hug. If you're both okay with it then it's okay :)
I have been told by my FWB that the same person can get boring if you are only having fun with them. But I've only got him and I'm pleased enough. Maybe it's because I think I love him, whereas he doesn't feel the same way for me. Or maybe not, because I think having a second guy could be fun (as long as he's safe). If it's all about sex, then it's not about love, and if it's about love, then it's about making love and not sex. They are two different things. Same action, different feelings. Or so I would imagine.
It makes me sad when I see such close mindedness on a website like this. For one, not everyone equates sex to love. You'd probably be surprised at how many couples really swing but keep it on the DL to avoid judgement.
For another, it's not like if you mess around with other people or even have a polyamorous relationship that you're just going to run out of love one day; it's not something that can be used up, the more it's shared the more it grows.
If you guys are okay with it, if it makes you happy, do as you will. We're not living your life or feeling your emotions or thinking your thoughts; we have no right to judge.