Is it normal to stay angry at my mom

I Begin to question myself as a child until i began to become a grown adult.There is 4 girls and one boy,Iam the baby the oldest being some 20 years apart from me.It started when i was little in the age range from 5-7 i had really really long hair past my knees my mother would brush it ver hard makeing me cry everytime,It was almost like she was jelous or something,until one day she told me quit your crying or iam gonna cut it like a little boy,And weeks down the road she did just that cut it just like the boys i was tormented at school laughed at bullyied you name it it was dont to me.She always would punnish me ground me to my room no phone etc.i hated eggs she would make me sit at the table until they were all gone sometimes takeing me all day until my dad would come home and yell at my mom leave that poor child alone he would say it rings over and over in my head.I was daddys little girl and he protected me from her as nuch as he could well iam adukt now and my mother is 86 years old,Five years ago i was asked to move back home by ny dad to take care of him because he was very sick and my mother needed my help. I contenplatied on doing this move because i still had issues with my mom but i did because of my dad,Six months ago to the day my dad passed away leaveing me very wary about liveing in the same house with my mother she was getting frail and i just felt obligated to care for her well she decided she wanted to go live at my sisters and let the house fall into forecloser leaveing me homeless she knew what she was doing and is laughing till this day yes my mother is still alive,I just hate her i love her but hate her is this normal for an adult to fell this way about a parent lost and confused!!!!!!!